Author Archives: Paul

About Paul

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Paul produces and hosts a film/comedy podcast on CinemaRecon.com! He also produces and hosts a gaming podcast on BitFixRadio.com!
February 9, 2012

Cinema Recon and The Oscars!

By Paul

We hope you can join us Sunday, February 26th for Oscar night as Cinema Recon will broadcast its first ever LIVE* show!!  Our plan is to be on the couch with mics at the ready, cameras steadily positioned, and beers in hand right when the ceremony begins at 7:00ET/4:00PT.  Watch the Oscars right along with us in real-time!  We are going to power through the entire show: No breaks, no edits…Just pure, unadulterated Cinema Recon goodness!

Check back in with CinemaRecon.com soon and I will have instructions posted for how you can stream the video and audio right to your computer-machine!

To celebrate, Cinema Recon has been watching and reviewing a different Best Picture nominee each week leading up to Oscar night (next week we will see Hugo, if all things go according to plan).  This week we are reviewing The Artist, and I couldn’t be more excited.

Everything I have heard so far about this year’s Academy Awards has led me to believe that it is going to be a two-horse race between The Descendants and The Artist (the Golden Globes certainly seemed to agree).  Now that Jake and I have already given our reviews of the quite enjoyable Clooney flick, I’m very eager to see how The Artist will hold up against it.

Billy recently told me “The Artist makes going to the movies truly magical again.  It doesn’t blow the doors down in any single aspect, and sure, it kinda uses a gimmick in being a silent film…but damned if I didn’t have a great time through the entire thing!” (sorry bud if my paraphrasing is off)

Have any of you had a chance to see The Artist yet?  What are your thoughts?  Only two weeks left until the big night!

 

* = So, you noticed that little asterisk up there, eh?  Well, the Oscar show is scheduled to be a LIVE broadcast AS LONG AS all technical devices are working properly.  I am working ’round the clock to make that so, but if I accidentally connect the blue wire where the red wire should have been, not to worry!  I will still have the entire “CR Oscar Special” available for download and streaming on the site, just like every other show.

4 Comments   |  tags: , | posted in Banter, Paul

February 8, 2012

The Dark Reich of the Moon

By Paul

Holy sweet merciful God, wasn’t I just talking about ludicrous premises and mash-ups in film when we discussed the upcoming Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?  No sooner had I made that post did I stumble across this little trailer, released today, for Iron Sky:

Nazis from the freakin’ moon attacking present day New York in UFOs and blimp-shaped spaceships all coming out of swastika-shaped moon bases…Oh and Sarah Palin is in it.  I shit you not.  I am exhausted just having typed that, let alone having watched it!

Well that’s it then.  Hollywood has gone insane.  Somewhere a vein has popped and film studios are flinging bat-shit crazy movies at us.  I don’t think I’m over reacting when I say the biblical Apocalypse is upon us.  Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… Nazis on the goddamn moon.

Touché, Blind Spot Pictures.  You looked a President battling Nosferatu square in the eye and said, “You think that’s nuts?  Well WE have lost our fucking MINDS!!”

 

….And we’ll probably go see it.

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February 8, 2012

Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation from Vampirization

By Paul

Oh yeah.  Now this is what I’m talking about.  Abraham Lincoln.  Vampires.  And a big ass Axe.  It all gels together so nicely, doesn’t it?

In case you haven’t heard, 20th Century Fox and producer Tim Burton will bring us Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter this coming June.  Judging by the unabashedly outrageous title, I expect a tongue-firmly-in-cheek mash-up of top hats and wooden stakes, which (if you are as big a horror fan like me) sounds delightful.  I really do love a good (even often bad) horror movie.  And I love it even more when a film knows exactly what it is supposed to be and embraces itself.  Do you remember the scene in Inglorious Basterds where Omar and Donowitz unload a couple of MP40s into Adolf Hitler??  I kinda feel like, if done right, this movie could achieve that same “Anything Goes!” feeling for 90 minutes.  We shall see…

June (unfortunately for us Prometheus fanatics) is still a long ways away.  But to satisfy our presidential huntings of the undead, Entertainment Weekly has scored some cool pics that appear to be on location and in action!  Check them out in the gallery below:

 

And I say why stop with Abe and vamps?!  How about some Benjamin Franklin: Cyborg Slayer!  Or Rosa Parks vs. Cthulhu!!  Yeah!!  Or give me a little Cowboys and Alie…oh…right.  Okay, I’ll stop.

 

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February 8, 2012

Episode 02/04/12

By Paul

Today on the show, we watch your typical run-of-the-mill barn partying, blue orb absorbing, teenage telekinesis empowering popcorn flick!  It’s the Cinema Recon review of Chronicle!

We also don our patented Cinema Recon flip-flops (patent pending) and soak up the Hawaiian sun with George Clooney in The Descendants!

In the news…

  • Follow Vin Diesel as he continues along his Career Revitalizing World Tour, next stop: Riddick!
  • John McClain, Superman, and Ripley team up in the new trailer for The Cold Light of Day!
  • One could say the superhero genre is starting to get… stretched a little thin!
  • Matthew Vaughn is at the helm for the next X-Men movie, entitled X-Men: We lost Count Too!
  • Lex Luthor turned 82 on January 30th!
  • Joel Edgerton and Jessica Chastain will star in two films that are the same…but different!
  • Gran Turino writer Nick Schenk will pen the Robocop reboot, which will now star an old, war-torn, racist white dude!
Edit:  Paul makes mention on this show that The Descendants was a Golden Globe Nominee for Best Comedy/Musical.  This is incorrect, rather the The Descendants won the Golden Globe for Best Drama.  Paul would like to apologize to George Clooney, and promises to refund George for this show

Listen Below:

Download Here (by right clicking, then “save as”):  CR: Episode 02/04/12

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February 7, 2012

Harrison Ford Avoids Hip Injury, Won’t be in Blade Runner 2

By Paul

Well, that sure was close.  Turns out that Harrison Ford/Blade Runner 2 rumor wasn’t true after all.  Deadline had a chance to clear the air with Alcon Entertainment, the producer/financier working with Ridley Scott on the upcoming reboot.  Andrew Kosove (Alcon big-cheese) had this to say:

“It is absolutely patently false that there has been any discussion about Harrison Ford being in Blade Runner … To be clear, what we are trying to do with Ridley now is go through the painstaking process of trying to break the back of the story, figure out the direction we’re going to take the movie and find a writer to work on it. The casting of the movie could not be further from our minds at this moment.”

Well…Good thing we waited a day to really check our sources, rather than post an article detailing Ford’s return to Blade Runner!  You see, here at Cinema Recon, we go the extra mile to make damn, doubly sure every single news story is proven and factual.  I mean, what kind of self-respecting journalists would we be if we were to flood the internets with wild rumors and hearsay??

Oh, speaking of journalism, a reliable source has given me super top-secret insider information that Batman dies at the end of The Dark Knight Rises.

Sad Batman is sad

 

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February 6, 2012

The Hulk IS Mark Ruffalo IS Derek Zoolander!

By Paul

A few months ago, we commented on how Mark Ruffalo seemed to be doing his best Zoolander impression.

Now, thanks to a wonderful screen by screen recap of The Avengers Superbowl trailer by io9.com, we have a great shot of The Hulk giving us his best “Green” Steel pose:

This is by far our best view of The Hulk yet.  After seeing him cause a ruckus and stand amongst the other Avengers in the explosive new trailer, I for one am pretty excited for what’s in store.  Still, a side by side by side comparison shows that The Hulk is going to need a bit more work turning left:

Ruffalo, on the other hand, has got it nailed

Cinema Recon will no doubt be front and center when The Avengers releases May 4, 2012.  You can check out the extended Superbowl trailer below!

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February 2, 2012

Episode 01/29/12

By Paul

Just as certain as a weather forecast from Punxsutawney Phil, Jake returns to Cinema Recon after his appearance at Sundance!

Today on the show, we are on the hunt for the first surprise hit of 2012 and may have found it in The Grey!  (07:00)

Jake plays the tuba, Paul is on the sax, and Thomas Horn brings his tambourine!  It’s the Cinema Recon review of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close!  (1:12:30)

We also discuss our thoughts on the recently announced Academy Award nominees and officially kick off the CR Road to the Oscars!  (40:18)

In the news… (1:48:00)

  • On this day, the Lord said “Let Terminator 5 be rated R”
  • Marvel promises to fill the current superhero movie void in the coming years!
  • How can we handle Broderick as Bueller on a day like the Superbowl?
  • In space, everyone will hear Guy Pearce‘s witty one liners!
  • Renowned non-union Mexican director Señor Spielbergo may direct Gods and Kings!
  • Stephen Dorff spends 90 minutes locked in a trunk full of cameras!
  • It seemed as though The Crow was calling his name, thought Caw…
  • Hangover 3 stars will each be given a small country for their character reprisals!

Listen Below:

Download Here (by right clicking, then “save as”):  CR: Episode 01/29/12

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February 2, 2012

Star Wars: The Pre-School Sing Along

By Paul

Oh my.  I … I simply cannot begin to write the description for the following video.

I watched it.  Let it digest for a second.  Then I thought of all sorts of jabs and jokes I could make about it.   They practically write themselves!

But as I write this post, its just…its just really difficult to cope with the fact that this thing even exists.  I don’t even want to joke about it.  This is no laughing matter.  This is the cold, hard truth that entertainment is driven by financial figures and demographic polls.  This is George Lucas saying, “Yes, I have heard all of your complaints about the direction of the Star Wars franchise.  And NO, I don’t care.  Don’t believe me?  Watch THIS!”

The fact of the matter is, George Lucas is in the business of making money.  He does not care if your childhood is tarnished.  He does not care if Han shot first.  He does not care if you think Jar Jar is annoying as shit.  Why?  Because special editions make money.  Because re-tooling characters can appease a broader audience.  Because little kids like annoying shit.

And so it is.  This official Star Wars: Episode 1 trailer will make George more money.  It will reach a broader audience.  And it will cause little kids, who have no idea what Star Wars is, to perk their ears and beg their parents to take them to see it in extra profitable glorious 3D.

The Internets are, without a doubt, roaring over this trailer.  I suppose I could bemoan along with them.  Although, it would not be very surprising for me to tell you I don’t like this (I don’t).  It would not be very shocking if I said this is utterly hilarious (it is).  So I will simply just present this to you, so you can mull it over for yourself.  And when you can finally put those thoughts into words, just realize… it doesn’t matter.  Because at the end of the day, George has still found another way to turn one dollar into two.

1 Comment   |  tags: | posted in Banter, News, Paul

January 21, 2012

Episode 01/21/12

By Paul

Today on the show, Jake is at Sundance, Billy is in studio, and Paul learns that a boy can accomplish anything if he just dares to dream!

Billy graciously fills Jake’s shoes as guest co-host on the show, only to be roundhouse kicked out of them by Gina Carano in Haywire!  (04:35)

Cinema Recon has it’s first LIVE caller!!  And it’s…Jake??  That’s right Jake calls in from the Sundance Film Festival to give us a taste of the glitz, the glamour, and the hot tubs!  We also hear his thoughts on the Sundance darling Celeste and Jesse Forever!  (27:50)

That “other” awards show just wrapped up…Billy and Paul’s invitations must have been lost in the mail!  Regardless, it’s the Cinema Recon recap of the Golden Globes!  (1:00:40)

In the news…  (1:39:25)

  • Jack won’t be killing any Giants for at least another year!
  • Vin Diesel cosplays as Riddick!
  • Chuck Norris threatens to use graphic violence if producers won’t give Expendables 2 a PG-13 rating!
  • The newest Project X trailer promises us that the film is “Superbad on crack” …No, seriously.

Listen Below:

Download Here (by right clicking, then “save as”):  CR: Episode 01/21/12

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January 8, 2012

Episode 01/08/12

By Paul

Today on the show we get our hearts pumping with mindless spy movie action!  Death defying car chases!  Devious super villains!   Why, it’s the Cinema Recon review of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, of course!  (0:05:05)

What happens when Indiana Jones gets waaaay super jealous of James Bond‘s adorable new charm bracelet??  Find out in our review of Cowboys & Aliens!  (0:40:28)

Our very special guest Cassie joins us to make sure we don’t throw any punches below the belt during our review of Warrior!  (1:05:13)

In the news…  (1:50:54)

  • Disney plans to make a film based on the Sleeping Beauty villain Malificient…malnourished?..Mal-Idiot!
  • The American live action version of Akira halts production…much to the dismay of no one who listens to this show
  • Amanda Seyfried has decided to do porn in order to pay off her gambling debts!
  • Universal accepts Hangover 2‘s challenge to make the worst sequel ever and contemplates a Bridesmaids 2 without Kristen Wiig!
  • Puberty has been hard on young Bane as his voice changes back and forth in the new The Dark Knight Rises trailer
  • The Evil Dead remake has announced its new Bruce-ette!
  • Universal insists Jeremy Renner is not Matt Damon

Listen Below:

Download Here (by right clicking, then “save as”):  CR: Episode 01/08/12

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