Because You Never Saw It: Beginners

It’s all but incomprehensible to me that Ewan McGregor continues to get roles in which he has to play an American. It’s the worst American accent in the history of motion pictures. It’s flat, nasal, horribly distracting and on more than one occasion has effected my enjoyment of the film. I suppose it’s ultimately a tribute to the quality of film “Beginners” is that, while I noticed McGregor’s accent, it did not deter me from enjoying this film immensely.

The movie simultaneously follows Oliver (McGregor) at two different points in his life. One period has Oliver as he takes care of his father who is dying from cancer. His father (Christopher Plummer), who just four years earlier, came out to his son, refuses to go quietly. He takes a lover, joins every gay-related group he can find and is intent on living his life to the fullest possible extent.

In the second period, Oliver’s father has just died. Oliver, dispondent and confused, meets Anna (Melanie Laurent) at a costume party. This part of the film unspools like a protracted meet-cute, with each subsequent scene intent on amping up the cleverness quotent. Courtship, conflict, resolution. You get the drill.

There are no slackers among the principles of the cast. McGregor holds his own, my problems with his accent notwithstanding. He’s a charismatic actor whose comedic and dramtic skills play on both fronts. Christopher Plummer and Melanie Laurent are absolutely fabulous. So spirited and against type is Plummer’s performance that had this film not been so readily ignored by filmgoers, I’d say he would be a shoe in for an Academy Award. I’m positive that at the very least a nomination will come in due time. Laurent, last scene in “Inglourious Basterds,” is a knockout. While the role of the quirky ingenue/genius/savior has been played before by the likes of Natalie Portman and Kirsten Dunst, she adds a wonderful fragility to her character.

Ultimately, the film is about fathers and sons and the sacrifices we make throughout our lives. It’s about the imprints our parents leave on us and how they dictate, for better or worse, our lives going forward. In the end, we are never prepared. Our parents do the best they can, but they are only human. That may all sound like crappy pap, but it doesn’t make it any less true.


It “Wood” Certainly Seem No Cartoon is Safe

Well here we go.

The Hollywood Reporter is …reporting… that yet another piece of childhood nostalgia was hunted down by a film studio, cornered, and eventually captured, all so that it may be dragged from the cool confines of our memories and paraded down the street before our present day eyes (for a nominal fee from us, of course).  I speak of Illumination Entertainment (Universal owned) bringing Woody Woodpecker onto the big screen

Now I love me some Woody Woodpecker, but I don’t think its a surprise to anyone when I say I think they should leave well enough alone.  Maybe I am coming across as a grumpy old man, and maybe a lot of you actually want to see the beloved Woody Woodpecker character recreated for a modern audience, and maybe (on paper at least) this is indeed an exciting, heartwarming look into our childhoods!   Maybe the film will be more than just 90 minutes of “Hey!  Remember when Woody used to laugh like THIS [insert laugh 50 times] …Hilarious!!”

…You know what, this is sounding better and better!  Yeah, maybe they can pull this off!!  And then they can go and do the same for George of the Jungle, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Richie Rich, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Curious George, Inspector Gadget, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Garfield, Speed Racer, Mr. Magoo, Scooby Doo…. 

Oh.  Right.

Shit.

Hopefully the film will have a happy ending


Episode 11/13/11

Today on the show, we are visited by our dear friend and fellow movie aficionado Billy!  Keep on the lookout for future posts from Billy on the site!

Why are we wearing rubbery old man masks and our mothers’ dresses, you ask??  Well, it’s the Cinema Recon review of J. Edgar, of course!  (11:50)

We also utter the word “beautiful” about 700 times with confused, bewildered, and sleepy looks on our faces.  Cinema Recon climbs The Tree of Life(01:23:48)

It’s certainly easy to be smug and judgmental when you have won as many awards as this show! …*cough*… But we put on our most unbiased faces and examine the movies in Hollywood unabashedly clamoring for those little gold statues!  It’s the Cinema Recon “Oscar Bait” discussion!  (46:30)

In the news…  (02:10:27)

  • Eddie Murphy is too busy apologizing for Tower Heist to host the Oscars!
  • Fact:  Adam Sandler can slap you in the face and you’ll promptly give him $10!
  • Magneto takes his addiction to the next level and wants to cover every inch of his body in sweet, shiny metal!
  • Modern Warfare 3 is bigger than Star Wars AND Lord of the Rings??  Shut up and take my money!!
  • Newly released Snow White and the Huntsman trailer is….good?!  Well I’ll be a son of a witch
  •  Warner Bros. has all the “pieces” in place for their next big franchise!  Be sure to “block” out any plans you have summer 2014!!  (it’s a LEGO movie)

Listen below:

Download Here (by right clicking, then “save as”):  CR: Episode 11/13/11


Because You never Saw It: Bellflower

(Billy is our newest contributor here at Cinema Recon.  We are very excited to have his insight and perspective added to the site, so please help us welcome him to the CR family!)

 

The state of the financial system is precarious…

wars are being fought on all fronts…

People are confused and becoming more and more disenfranchised. Not a day goes by that groups of people, without so much as a clear message, are occupying somewhere.

In a world that seems to be spinning slightly off its axis, The film Bellflower tries and for the most part succeeds at creating a response by a disaffected youth culture to questions they are in no way prepared to answer. Over stimulated by the media and living lives that come too easily for them, the film follows two friends as they prepare for a world resembling the one that inhabits the film “Mad Max,” a world in which in which they are positive is inching ever closer.

Sun drenched and slightly out of focus, the film is unquestionably beautiful with a style that reminds one of the stylus of a turntable skipping and sliding over a record. However, in the film’s second half, its thesis ceases to drive the film and it devolves into a hyper kinetic hallucination that never quite gels.

Like Nicholas Winding Refn’s “Drive,” Bellflower is a little too aware of how cool it is. But the enthusiasm with which the film is made more than makes up for its self-consciousness. “Bellflower” is an extreme motion picture and doesn’t carry the burden of reality, but in the end is worth watching because of its technical proficiency and the all-in menatality of the filmmakers.

Bellflower exists in a world of its own, but given the trajectory of current events, it doesn’t seem that far away.


TDKR IDF… (The Dark Knight Rises is done filming!)

Well, we are that much closer to seeing the finished product that is Christopher Nolans The Dark Knight Rises. According to an article on Superherohype.com, filming is officially complete! We had Batman Begins, then The Dark Knight, and now The Dark Knight Rises which will close out the Batman trilogy. These movies have been some of, if not the best movies adapted from comic books to the big screen, and we are all waiting and extremely curious to see how this wraps up the story of The Batman.

But, if you have listened to Episode 9/25/11 and Episode 10/01/11, you know that both Paul and I are a bit skeptical about how this will turn out. From the way that Anne Hathaway is strutting around in her dominatrix-like cat-eared wearing high-heeled outfit, to the fact that Tom Hardy sounds like a 12 year old prepubescent boy when asking the citizens of Gotham to rise up and take back their city. Both of us aren’t really buying Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, I have no clue what they are doing with Bane, and the Batplane looks like a downgraded version of a Power Rangers set piece.

However, I think even with all this skepticism we are still putting our trust in Christopher Nolan to turn this into an amazing finale for the caped crusader. But what I am looking forward to most of all, maybe even more than actually seeing the film, is not seeing any more god damn set photos from filming! If I have to see Christian Bale leaning up against the catering cart and perusing the bagel options one more time, I’m going to go all Joker on everyones ass! The Dark Knight Rises is slated to open July 20th, 2012 even though most of us have seen pretty much the whole movie by now. By the way Christian… go with the jalapeno bagel, it’ll put some hair on your bat-chest.

Hey, how do you eat these bagels with that thing on your face?


J. Edgar Earns Twice Jake’s Annual Salary in Just One Day

As Cinema Recon gears up to hit the polling booth with J. Edgar, IMDb.com is reporting that the film earned $53,000.00 today in just the 7 theaters it was shown.  The limited release for just one day is of course meant to create a bit of buzz around the movie, as it opens in wide release tomorrow.  Warner Brothers will be satisfied with nothing less than several Oscar nominations for the presidential biopic.

But is it any good? …We will certainly let you know on the next show, as J. Edgar will be our wide release review for the week!  I got Jake the pop-up book version so he can at least participate in the review.

Bling Bang!


Episode 11/06/11

Today on the show, we climb the highest building we can find and contemplate taking a plunge after watching Tower Heist(05:44)

We also pledge allegiance to the flag, high-five Uncle Sam, and root for the little guy (who becomes a bigger, stronger little guy)!  It’s the Cinema Recon review of Captain America(1:30:50)

Where have all the Action Heroes gone?!  Cinema Recon gathers the most iconic Action Stars of yesteryear…and celebrates their metaphorical deaths in our childhood memories!  It’s Cinema Recon’s Funeral for the Action Heroes!  (42:20)

In the news…  (2:19:05)

  • A video game franchise is being made into a movie, and the creators are getting creative control??  Blasphemy!
  • Bill Murray is…The Penguin!  No wait…FDR!
  • Forbes’ has discovered mathematical proof that no one likes Dru Berrymore! (Nobel Prize to follow)
  • The recently announced title of the 23rd Bond film has us shaken…AND stirred!
  • Marvel puts the X-Men franchise into the hands of the man who nearly killed it!
  • Arnold takes a break from making illegitimate children and returns to film!
Listen below:
Download Here (by right clicking, then “save as”):  CR: Episode 11/06/11

The Pixel Washing Machine! (wash non-colored items separately)

Although Paul and I both really liked the movie The Thing (2011), there was one part that really stood out from the others, and not in a good way. It really was a WTF moment towards the end of the movie. Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s character Kate has chased The Thing across the frozen landscape and into its spaceship. She must prevent it from reaching civilization at all costs. As she is tip toeing around the innards of the spaceship, she stumbles on what appears to be a mysterious power source or computer of some kind, most likely of extreme power or intelligence. But what do we as the viewer see… a random assortment of floating colored pixels. Literally.

I have no idea what the visual effects crew was going for… but I’m pretty damn sure they missed the mark. What the audience sees is just a random mess of colored pixels floating in circles. I bet its one of those things that is really cool in concept, but then when you start to develo… wait, no… never mind, its not even cool in concept.

But I thought it was so funny that I couldn’t resist but to share it with you the way I saw it. So without further adieu, as promised from the 10/16/11 show here is my rendition of the mysterious power source/Crayola factory that Mary Elizabeth Winstead stumbles upon which I have deemed… The Pixel Washing Machine!

Ugh... where do I put the bleach?


MGM found their next movie, even though it was hidden so cleverly!

Anyone see any flying monkeys? Movies are a funny thing these days. Remakes, prequels, re-envisioning, re-imaginings (which apparently is different from a re-envisioning somehow?), re-boots, sequels, and re-imagined boots as I like to call ’em, have been flooding the theaters a lot lately as Hollywood keeps churning out different versions of existing material. This is of course, not to mention the surge of ideas floating around looking to turn the next nothing into the next something. Books turn into movies, so why not comic books? Comic books turn into movies, so why not video games? Video games turn into movies, so why not board games? And hell if a board game can be turned into a movie, why not a series of childrens books where the sole point is to stare at the page and find the guy in the Santa sweater.

That’s right folks, MGM has acquired the rights to turn the series of children’s books Where’s Waldo into a feature film. Yes, you read that correctly… a FEATURE FILM! Yes you read that correctly… WHERE’S WALDO! Holy shit, is nothing sacred anymore!? Is there even a point to Where’s Waldo? Was there even an underlying story as to why that lovable gent was traveling the globe in blue jeans and a sweater, no matter what time of year and no matter where on Earth he was? You ever wore a sweater in Hawaii? Yeah looking sharp there Wally, good luck getting the ladies with those pit stains you’re rockin’.

But the big point here is why, for the love of God, does this need to be a feature film!? It would seem that the subject matter would lend itself so beautifully to an animated adventure for say, I don’t know… a little company called Pixar! But I guess I am getting ahead of myself… why the hell is this even being made into anything at all (besides maybe another brightly colored book that I can give to Paul to keep him occupied for several weeks)!? Is this what movies are being reduced to nowadays? Where the plot just entails one single simple action such as finding someone in a crowd? Locate a battleship, find a Waldo, go to a Candyland or whatever the hell the objective was in that game.

There he is, behind the thing... next to the suff.

We’re doomed ladies and gentleman, simply doomed. I think Wayne Campbell said it best when he said, “Shaw… and monkeys might fly out of my butt!” Well bend over Wayne, here is a stick to bite down on. I just hope it’s literally an exact replica of one of the scenes from the books. Just because it is live action doesn’t mean the actors have to be moving. I would pay good money to see 1,200 extras standing perfectly still for an hour and a half, while I scour the screen looking for David Schwimmer in a red and white sweater. This should be a fun one to keep an eye on folks, we will be sure to keep you updated.


Ryan Reynolds and Ethan Hawke are interchangeable!

Well, at least according to Denzel Washington they are. Maybe I’m just coming off of the anger of my last post about Arnolds new movie The Last Stand being very similar to Walking Tall with The Rock. But I cant help but notice similarities between Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds new movie Safe House, and a little gem from 2005 that I really like called Assault on Precinct 13 starring Ethan Hawke and Laurence Fishburne (hey you cant always get Denzel, or Samuel Jackson, or Will Smith…).

According to Collider.com Safe House is a story about “A young CIA agent (Reynolds) who must team up with a dangerous criminal in order to survive when their safe house is destroyed by mercenaries.” While that is all fine and dandy, and while the plot isn’t explicitly unique, the trailer looks extremely similar to Assault on Precinct 13. Maybe its just because they do the classic bad guy good guy team up in both? Or is it because they do the classic, black guy white guy team up in both? I don’t know what it is, but I cant wait to see it either way. Denzel is always awesome when he plays a bad ass, and Reynolds… well, lets just hope this gets him back on track after Green Lantern, which Paul and I have appropriately placed here, where it belongs. It looks like Reynolds might be able to pull off the tough guy act, but lets just hope he leaves his CGI at home this time.

Hey, you don't look like Ethan Hawke...