Category Archives: Banter

February 13, 2012

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter First Trailer!

By Paul

Following up my previous impressions of the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter images, TIME has an exclusive look at the first trailer for the film! Check your logic at the door and watch it here.

Four score and seven years ago, Twentieth Century Fox and Tim Burton brought forth baton-like twirling axes, horseback roundhouse kicks, tree-exploding deathblows, and Johnny Cash!  Who wants to bet that the big bad nemesis for Honest Abe will be none other than Count John Wilkes Booth?!

…I for one am disappointed in the COMPLETE lack of Moon-Nazis in this trailer.  Absurd.

 

Jake had his own thoughts on the trailer:

“I was a bit skeptical about this project, and admittedly there are still lots of ways (and I mean LOTS) for this movie to go south really quickly. But I think deep down this is a movie I am really looking forward to. I don’t really have much taste for Tim Burton as of recently, I think he just kind of works inside his own little weird niche and never breaks out. And I wasn’t that big of a fan of Timur Bekmambetovs Wanted. But after seeing the trailer, I think they might just make an awesome team.

“I think you’re seeing a lot of the same really great and unique visuals that Timur Bekmambetovs brought us in Wanted, and with the added horror/dark element that Tim Burton is so great at. What I think is really cool though is that from what it looks like the film is taking itself really serious. And although like I said there are still lots of ways for this to turn into a laughing stock, from what we see in the trailer, it could also be pretty bad ass. The best scene is definitely at the end though, I mean how cool is that!? Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter according to IMDB will be released on June 22nd, 2012. And you know Paul and I will be there, top hats and all (and axes).”

 

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February 12, 2012

New Avengers bubble gum reveals EVERY SINGLE DETAIL ABOUT THE PLOT!

By Jake

Well, if there is one thing Hollywood is good at, it is squeezing every single last dime out of something until the well has completely run dry. Then even after that, they take the bricks from the well and sell them too. Then, they sell the rights to look at the spot where the well use to be. After that, they start working on the second well, The Well: Return of the hole in the ground (starring Morgan Freeman most likely, or Bill Paxton… Bill Paxton would be good too I guess).

Within the last week or two the barrage of leaks has started with pictures and details from all the toy companies, costume companies, etc., on all the superhero toy lines that are on their way off the production lines to help market the movie and to help make them another buck. And while I’m not necessarily irked about  that, everyone loves toys, but Jesus there are a lot of toys out… You can see the Avengers Legos here, or the Avengers board game here, or the Dark Knight Rises action figures here, or the Star Wars action figures here,  or the G.I. Joe Retaliation action figures here, or the Avengers action figures here, or the Amazing Spider-mans Lizard Halloween costume here, or the… holy shit you get the point.

But what really pisses me off, is all these articles say “See the action figures here! Caution toy images contain plot sploilers!!!” …. really? … REALLY? How much can an action figure contain plot spoilers!?!? What is this the 1998 movie Small Soldiers? Are the action figures running around telling everyone how the movie ends? What could we possibly be learning about a 2 hour long movie from seeing a couple Lego building blocks! But upon looking at the images even more I guess they are right, I mean, I’m pretty pissed knowing that Captain America is going to have a hole in his head the whole movie….

Vroom vroom.

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February 12, 2012

Laughs Aren’t Silent in SNL Spoof of The Artist!

By Paul

Saturday Night Live had a really cool spoof on The Artist last night.  Host Zooey Deschanel “tap dances to the top” with the surpirse guest appearance of George Valentin himself, Jean Dujardin!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Check out SNL’s official site for more videos from last night’s episode, including Clint Eastwood’s Chrysler ads and Nic Cage hilariously poking fun at himself on Weekend Update!

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February 10, 2012

Paging Doctor Terminator, Rambo needs a new catheter…

By Jake

Boy oh boy. Its a good time to be in the movie business (yes I know I am not actually in the movie business per se, but let me have my moment god damnit!). Lots of good stuff floating around the Inter-webs ladies and gentlemen. I saw an article on Collider which is still causing my face to do that one thing where the corners of your mouth go up… smiling. That’s right, a big ‘ol smile.

It turns out that Rambo 5 is on hold until Sly Stallone finishes Expendables 2. The article which you can find here quotes screenwriter Sean Hood who says, “Rambo 5 on hold as Sly finishes Expendables 2. He hasn’t decided if R5 will be an Unforgiven or a “passing of the torch.” I would be on board for either of those options! Rambo + Unforgiven = Massive amounts of enemies heads going ‘splode! Or on the other hand… Rambo + “passing of the torch” = Rambo and someone else making massive amounts of enemies heads going ‘splode!

But the thing that really got me smiling was the picture they had along with the article. Apparently after filming Expendables 2, both Arnold and Sly were so beat up from the physical demands of the shoot, they both had to go into surgery to get a little tune up hahahaha. I guess Arnold snapped a picture and shared it with the world. Thanks Arnold… because that’s one thing we all we’re dying to see, the action stars of our time, laying on the gurney!

But, I don’t really think it matters what the movie is about really, John Rambo is a God damn American Icon. If we don’t have him, what do we have? We might as well use the Statue of Liberty as scrap metal! We need another Rambo movie to show this new generation of limp wristed, pale, skinny jean wearing, moca-latte sipping youth how we use to get things done in ‘Merica! Shoot first and ask questions never! I am a big Rambo fan, and I am whole heartedly looking forward to this next movie with whatever direction they decide to take it in… as long as its not Rambo: The Found Footage.

Haay, SLIIEE, loook at usss .... aaarrrrggggggg

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February 10, 2012

“You Best Believe, Boy, There’s Hell to Pay”

By Paul

Today, in Totally-Awesome-Things-That-Are-Almost-Movie-Related, the History Channel has released a teaser trailer for the forthcoming Hatfields & McCoys. Do yourself a favor and watch it here!

While this will not be arriving in a theater near you, after seeing this trailer, I certainly wish it was! If this doesn’t make you excited to see Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton wage some neighborly war, I don’t know what will. Maybe it’s the awesome choice of music for the teaser. Maybe it’s because I am a big Costner fan. Or maybe I just get all giddy-like every time we revisit the Western genre in film. Take your pick, ’cause this perfect storm of guns and grit has me fired up for a television mini-series…and when can you every say THAT without being an unapologetic fan of the Hallmark Channel??

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February 9, 2012

Cinema Recon and The Oscars!

By Paul

We hope you can join us Sunday, February 26th for Oscar night as Cinema Recon will broadcast its first ever LIVE* show!!  Our plan is to be on the couch with mics at the ready, cameras steadily positioned, and beers in hand right when the ceremony begins at 7:00ET/4:00PT.  Watch the Oscars right along with us in real-time!  We are going to power through the entire show: No breaks, no edits…Just pure, unadulterated Cinema Recon goodness!

Check back in with CinemaRecon.com soon and I will have instructions posted for how you can stream the video and audio right to your computer-machine!

To celebrate, Cinema Recon has been watching and reviewing a different Best Picture nominee each week leading up to Oscar night (next week we will see Hugo, if all things go according to plan).  This week we are reviewing The Artist, and I couldn’t be more excited.

Everything I have heard so far about this year’s Academy Awards has led me to believe that it is going to be a two-horse race between The Descendants and The Artist (the Golden Globes certainly seemed to agree).  Now that Jake and I have already given our reviews of the quite enjoyable Clooney flick, I’m very eager to see how The Artist will hold up against it.

Billy recently told me “The Artist makes going to the movies truly magical again.  It doesn’t blow the doors down in any single aspect, and sure, it kinda uses a gimmick in being a silent film…but damned if I didn’t have a great time through the entire thing!” (sorry bud if my paraphrasing is off)

Have any of you had a chance to see The Artist yet?  What are your thoughts?  Only two weeks left until the big night!

 

* = So, you noticed that little asterisk up there, eh?  Well, the Oscar show is scheduled to be a LIVE broadcast AS LONG AS all technical devices are working properly.  I am working ’round the clock to make that so, but if I accidentally connect the blue wire where the red wire should have been, not to worry!  I will still have the entire “CR Oscar Special” available for download and streaming on the site, just like every other show.

4 Comments   |  tags: , | posted in Banter, Paul

February 7, 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man is only mediocre at swinging from shit.

By Jake

All the Internets are buzzing right now with the new and improved trailer for The Amazing Spider-man. In all honesty, and if you’ve been listening to any of the shows, or hanging around outside my living room window (please stop), I am not looking forward to this movie all that much. I mean yes, I am looking forward to it in the standard amount I guess, but I really have no excitement built up for this movie.

I cant quite figure out why I am not excited though. Maybe its because they started moving on this reboot before Spider-man 3 was even released in theaters. Or maybe because I’m not buying the emo, dark depressed, me against the world Andrew Garfield – the kid who plays Peter Parker. Or maybe its because, for the love of God, it still looks cheesy as all hell seeing someone swing from buildings!!!

I don’t understand how this could possibly be difficult! Michael Bay can use CGI to turn a Rubik’s cube into a god damn robot the size of the Sears Tower with more moving parts than the number of plastic surgeries Joan Rivers has had, but for some unknown reason nobody can seem to make the simple physics of an object swinging up, and then swinging back down look real! Its ridiculous!!!

Either way, as Paul and I say after talking about a movie that we really aren’t all that interested in… I’ll see it. And you know what, I will probably think its OK. But I promise you this… I WILL be covering my eyes during all “swinging from buildings and shit” scenes.

Don't be mad Jake. Its not his fault he cant swing like meeee!

1 Comment   |  tags: , | posted in Banter, Jake

February 6, 2012

I want more satchels dammit! And… and stitching… yeah!

By Jake

Ok so if you have listened to any of the past shows you have probably heard us talk about the new Avengers movie, and the cast, and our thoughts, etc. You have also probably heard me talk about how I think they have completely ruined Captain Americas credibility by the updates they have made to his costume! Captain America: The First Avenger was a a pretty awesome movie overall. And what made that movie for me, what really grounded it, was the fact that his costume was believable. It was very heavy duty, looked like it was made out of very thick, tough fabric, you could see the stitching on it, it had lots of straps and satchels and shit all over it. It looked like a real, hardcore world war whatever army costume. It was bad ass.

Now fast forward (or if your Captain America just stay frozen in ice) to present day. Cap gets busted out of ice, says word-up to Sam Jackson, enjoys a stein of fine lager with Thor, joins The Avengers, and then gets the lamest costume out of all of them! What a rip off! This guy is Captain God-Damn America people, Show some respect! His new costume is all nice and bright and shiny, no more heavy fabric, and don’t even get me started on the lack of satchels!

I’m just afraid that they are taking a step in the wrong direction and actually reverting back to the costume of the early Cap movies… or not, maybe I am making too much of this. All I know is that when all the Avengers are facing impending doom, backs to the wall, and they need Captain America to gather all the magic power crystals or whatever the fuck ever, and run them over to Iron Man so he can place them in the ACME machine to break the avengers free and save the world all while still using his hands to punch bad guys in the face… he better have enough damn satchels.

Has anyone seen my satchels??? I could have swore I left them up here.

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February 6, 2012

The Hulk IS Mark Ruffalo IS Derek Zoolander!

By Paul

A few months ago, we commented on how Mark Ruffalo seemed to be doing his best Zoolander impression.

Now, thanks to a wonderful screen by screen recap of The Avengers Superbowl trailer by io9.com, we have a great shot of The Hulk giving us his best “Green” Steel pose:

This is by far our best view of The Hulk yet.  After seeing him cause a ruckus and stand amongst the other Avengers in the explosive new trailer, I for one am pretty excited for what’s in store.  Still, a side by side by side comparison shows that The Hulk is going to need a bit more work turning left:

Ruffalo, on the other hand, has got it nailed

Cinema Recon will no doubt be front and center when The Avengers releases May 4, 2012.  You can check out the extended Superbowl trailer below!

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