Category Archives: Banter

Lawless is All Sorts of Bad Ass… (UPDATED with Trailer!)

UPDATE! First Trailer for Lawless is out!

The first trailer has gone online for John Hillcoats Lawless, you can check it out below followed by the previous article I wrote about the film and its awesome cast. I think I was right on point with what I wrote in the article below, saying that this movie is going to be bad-freaking-ass. Don’t believe me? Just watch for yourself…

There has been a lot of talk lately about “super movies”… and I am not referring to super-hero movies. Although there is a shit load of talk about super-hero movies as well, yeah I’m looking at you AVENGERS. God damn it seems like I cant even take a shit without seeing some new Avengers images imprinted right there on the damn toilet paper. But I am not talking about super-hero movies. I’m talking about movies that are coming out that have spectacular casts. It’s like The Avengers, but real life actors… if that makes any sense. There are a couple flicks coming out that are just jam packed with amazing actors. Its almost too much to even imagine them all in one movie! It’s like the first time you heard about the whole cast for the remake of Oceans 11, let’s put it that way. I would list the movies I am talking about but lets face it: I’m lazy and you’re smarter than I am; you probably know them all.

One movie that I am really stoked for and therefore not  too lazy to mention is Lawless (formerly titled The Wettest County in the World), directed by John Hillcoat and based on a novel written by Matt Bondurant. The synopsis from IMDB is as follows – “Set in the Depression-era Franklin County, Virginia, a bootlegging gang is threatened by authorities who want a cut of their profits.” Ah yes, that is right up my alley. I am a big fan of the Depression-era look to movies, as well as the overall American attitude toward life and the law during that time. But to bring it back to my earlier point, what really gets me excited for this movie is the cast and crew…

First we have John Hillcoat directing, who previously directed The Proposition as well as The Road (both of which I think are pretty great films). The overall tone of his previous movies is what’s important and what will translate specifically well to Lawless. Second you have a screenplay by Nick Cave who also wrote the screenplay for Hillcoat’s The Proposition. But the big kicker here, ladies and gentleman and Paul, is the cast. Check this out… the film will star (deep breath) –

  • Tom “I’m extremely bad ass” Hardy
  • Shia LaBeouf – You can hate him all you want but personally I think he is a great actor.
  • Jessica Chastain – Who is nothing short of absolutely amazing.
  • Gary Oldman – Who is top on our list ‘ol chap!
  • Mia Wasikowska – Alice in Wonderland, Jane Eyre and The Kids Are Alright.
  • Guy Pearce – Come on… its Guy Pearce…
  • Noah Taylor – The Proposition and the upcoming Hatfields & McCoys
  • Dane DeHaan – Ultra believable bad super powers kid from Chronicle.
  • Jason Clarke – Public Enemeies and the upcoming The Great Gatsby.

With a cast like that it’s got to be good! OK, well it doesnt have  to be good, but my money is on the fact that it will be bad-freaking-ass. A bunch of bootleggers pushing moonshine and booze, outrunning the cops, and shooting shit up! With a great screenplay, director and phenomenal cast, they could probably make watching paint dry exciting! I am stoked… no, I am super-stoked! Lawless is scheduled to open in the post-prohibition USA August 31st, 2012.

You guys said there were seats back here!

What say you? Will a great cast make this a great movie? Or just another overloaded flop? Let us know in the comments!

P.S. Does anyone else think that John Hillcoat looks exactly like Stevie from East Bound and Down?

The Counselor Counsels an All Star Cast

So I talked about these so called “super movies” in my last article. Specifically I was talking about the upcoming John Hillcoat directed film Lawless (formerly titled The Wettest County in the World) based on the novel by Matt Bondurant. I was amazed at the awesome cast they have for this movie, and just excited in general about the bootlegging flick (Booze and guns!? Sign me up!). I also mentioned a couple other upcoming films that also have these super-amazing casts, but was too lazy to remember what they were. But this cup of coffee has chased away my laziness! Laziness be gone!

One of the other awesome-actor-packed movies that I was thinking of is the upcoming film The Counselor directed by an up-and-coming guy named Ridley Scott. He has a small little indie film called Prometheus coming out that you probably haven’t heard of… But much like Lawless The Counselor is packed to the brim with a great cast and a great director which should make this as I like to call it – a super-movie! (I really need to find a better term for that, it just sounds so 1980’s). The plot centers around well respected lawyer who partners up with a wealthy acquaintance of his and some shady associates, to try his hand in the cocaine business without getting caught up in it. Cormac McCarthy wrote the screenplay who also wrote the novel No Country for Old Men, so I can imagine this being in the same tone which sounds awesome. But again, what gets me excited is having an awesome director paired with a great writer, and then the following all star cast (some signed on, some still in talks) –

  • Michael Fassbender – Hi, I’m the best actor around right now!
  • Brad Pitt – Hey, I married Angelina Joile!
  • Angelina Jolie – Hey, Brad Pitt married me!
  • Javier Bardem – “Don’t put it in your pocket. It’s your lucky quarter.” Classic. Oh yeah, and I married Penelope Cruz!
  • Penelope Cruz – Hey, I married Javier Bardem!
So now that I think about it, this might just be a reason for all these married people to hang out together. Maybe they are trying to hook up Michael Fassbender with the make up artist or something… who knows. But this is definitely another film that I am excited for and will be keeping an eye on. What do you think about The Counselor, too much of a good thing? Or the more the merrier when it comes to great actors? Let us know in the comments!

Anthony Hopkins IS Alfred Hitchcock!

Whaddup Cinema Reconists!  Today, courtesy of People, we get our first look at Anthony Hopkins in the upcoming film Hitchcock!

Which Hitch is which?!?

One of my all time favorite actors playing one of my all time favorite directors?  Yes please!  The biopic will center around Alfred Hitchcock’s production of the 1960 classic Psycho.  While growing up, I became very familiar with and fond of Hitchcock’s work through my mom, a huge fan herself (The Birds is one of our favorite films of all time).  She was the original family horror/thriller aficionado.  While many of my childhood  friends were not allowed to watch such things, my mother was always willing let me watch ANY horror movie I pleased with her (just as long as there was no nudity… because, while monsters, murderers, and mayhem are clearly acceptable, bare breasts apparently send young children into a frenzy of mind melting chaos).  Like her, I was immune to the scares and simply became fascinated with the entire genre, which then led to my current state of horror-loving fanaticism.

Maybe I can convince Condog (Connie, my mom, to people who aren’t down with the lingo) to come along with Cinema Recon when Hitchcock hits theaters in 2013…

New Expendables 2 Images! Chuck Norris Gives “The Stare”

New images are out for the ultra awesome, ultra hardcore, ultra old ass 80’s action stars movie The Expendables 2. The images answer the question everyone was asking after they first Expendables, and once they heard about a sequel… just how much damage are The Terminator and John McClane really going to do in this movie!? We got nothing more than a couple minutes with each of them in The Expendables. I think was a disappointment to everyone for how much the whole action packed cast was hyped up in the advertisements.

But alas, be worried not young fan of old ass action stars! We can definitely see from these images that they are out to kick some ass and blow some shit up! I mean, blow some stuff up… sorry Chuck please don’t karate chop me. I know you and Sly had a big argument regarding the swearing in Expendables 2, and I wouldn’t want to offend you. My humble apologies dear master of the roundhouse.

As you can see from the image below, Bruce Willis is making the “Jersey Shore puckered up lips for a cell phone self portrait” face while he unleashes hell on the bad guys. Sly Stallone is giving the classic “say hello to my little friend!” upside down smiley face while he destroys everything in his path. And Arnold is constipated… but none the less shotgun blasting the shit out of someone. Probably someone who was in front of him in the bathroom line.


While that terrible trio is busy shooting up an unsuspecting office complex (an unsuspecting office complex that is no doubt highly involved in terrorist activity), we get a glimpse at what Mr. Delta Force himself has been up to. In this case, destroying the absolute shit out of a couple of parked cars. Jesus Christ Chuck, a note on their windshield would have been sufficient! Unloading all three of those clips might have been a wee bit much ya think? I can see it now, the owner of the car runs outside upon hearing loud explosions only to see his car blown to shit by none other than Chuck Norris himself. He yells out, “What the FUCK Chuck!? I leave my car for two fucking minutes to go take a shit, and first Arnold cuts in front of me in line, then him, Willis, and Sly start shooting up the whole damn place, and now you’ve ‘sploded my car into a thousand pieces!!! And to top it all off, is that a flat tire I see!?”  To which Chuck Norris slowly takes off his awesome, purple tinted Ray Bans and quietly answers “Yes, and you’re welcome.”

Don't ever let you car look at me like that again.

The Expendables 2 is scheduled to open August 17th, 2012 in the United States of Mo-Fo’in America.

Images via Collider.

New Pics of Johnny Depp as Johnny Depp! (Tonto)

Does anyone know how to change a old phrase? Do I have to file paper work with the Government, or just start saying it a lot? I think I will do both actually just to be safe. Does anyone know the mailing address for the Department of Old Phrases? I want to change the old saying “nothing is certain but death and taxes” to the new Jake approved saying “nothing is certain but death and taxes and the fact that Johnny Depp will wear face paint in any movie that he ever does. Fact.” Anyone know how I go about doing that? Email me.

A new image has surfaced on the Internets which shows Johnny Depp as Tonto from the upcoming Gore Verbinski film The Lone Ranger starring Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp. You may recall that the previous image of Johnny Depp as Tonto showed us that he probably shouldn’t be the first person at the top of your list if you need a bird sitter. But what both pictures do show rather nicely, is Johnny Depps affinity for face paint… Jesus Christ!!! Is it getting ridiculous to anyone else!? Am I the only person who can’t stand this anymore!? I swear Paul is just putting out these pictures just to mess with me because he thinks it’s hilarious how much I get worked up over stupid Johnny Depp and his face painting antics!

I think at this point, Johnny Depp has instructed his agent to not take any scripts unless it explicitly states on the first page that his character will be in full face paint the entire movie. Actually, I am going to write a script called “You Get to Cover Your Face in Paint” and see if he signs on, ten bucks says he will. And I’ll even bet you he does the sequel “You Get to Cover Your Face in Paint and Helena Bonham Carter Will Be There Too.” Is it possible to file a restraining order on someone elses behalf? I am going to file a three way restraining order for Johnny Depp, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter. The three of those people and face paint shouldn’t be allowed to be within a 15 mile radius of one another. This madness has to stop people!

Anyways, back to the new Lone Ranger picture. So this time we see Depp with mucho face paint but sans the dead bird on his head. I am guessing after a couple days in the hot sun someone at the Health Department finally said, “hey… you know you got a rotten dead bird on your head?” so they 86’d the bird, or at least threw it in the fridge for the time being. This pic is just more of the same if you ask me, or at least it’s exactly what I was expecting from a Depp movie. I for one am not looking forward to this flick very much. I have the feeling Depps Tonto will be very similar to his Captain Jack Sparrow, but with a Native American accent and not a… umm, pirate accent. Lots of antics, distinct accent and odd geastures just underneath more facepaint. He is one step away from saying “wheres the rum?” in my book. But hey, I’ll see it. I guess I am pretty impressed though, that makeup really does make him look like a middle age Native American woman.

I hope this make up covers my pimple...

The Lone Ranger is set to hit theatres May 31st, 2013.

Image via Badass Digest.

First Trailer out for Looper! (It Will Be Up Yesterday…)

The much anticipated trailer for Rian Johnson‘s Looper is here! Well, at least it’s been much anticipated by me. I am a huge fan of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and of course, being a red blooded male living within the continental United States, Bruce Willis is one step shy of being my hero. The official synopsis is as follows:

“In the futuristic action thriller Looper, time travel will be invented – but it will be illegal and only available on the black market. When the mob wants to get rid of someone, they will send their target 30 years into the past, where a “looper” – a hired gun, like Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) – is waiting to mop up. Joe is getting rich and life is good… until the day the mob decides to “close the loop,” sending back Joe’s future self (Bruce Willis) for assassination. The film is written and directed by Rian Johnson and also stars Emily Blunt, Paul Dano, and Jeff Daniels. Ram Bergman and James D. Stern produce.”

The story itself seems pretty awesome. If it has to do with time travel, sign me up! A lot of people get all “logical” with time travel movies and start poking holes in the plot immediately… “Well now wait a minute guys, if Bruce Willis is sent to the past that means that obviously Joseph Gordon-Levitt doesn’t die in the movie because if he dies then Bruce Willis wouldn’t have been around in the future to have been sent back in the first place…” Yada yada yada you’re dumb guy just go with it. As long as their aren’t major holes in the plot, I’m all for suspending belief about the possible paradoxes involved in any time travel movie. I mean come on, why didn’t Skynet just crush the skull of teenage Kyle Reese when they captured in him in Terminator: Salvation? “Hey kid what’s that over there…?” *squash*

One thing I noticed about the trailer was how Joseph Gordon-Levitts voice sounds pretty damn awesome compared to Bruce Willis. I’m not sure if that is JGL just doing some fine voice work, or if they used anything in post production on his voice, but either way I think it sounds pretty awesome. Also, there does appear to be some small facial make-up or prosthetics worn by JGL to make him look a bit more like Willis. I am not too sure how I feel about this, maybe after watching the movie for a bit I will buy into it but I just hope it’s not too distracting.

I was definitely a fan of Johnsons other movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Brick, so I am excited to see what these two can do again. I am a bit hesitant about the overall look and tone of the movie though, it seems at times very “Kill Bill-ish” but then at other times a very straightforward action movie. I guess we will have to just wait and see how it all pans out, Looper is set to open September 28th in the US.

What are your thoughts on the trailer? Looks like good ‘ol fashion time traveling mob-hit-man fun? Or too far of a stretch for Levitt to be Willis?

Holy sectional-compartmentalized-military-outfit Batman!

Where is it written that sequels have to be bigger in scope and more intricate than their predecessor? I really don’t get it. I mean we see it everywhere. Classic examples, Spiderman 3 or Transformers: Dark Side of The Moon… I mean come on… REALLY!? But what I don’t get even more, is why the costume has to also follow suit (no pun intended… OK, it was kind of intended) and get increasingly more complicated and larger in scope and more… uhhh, patch-ier?

Case in point is the most recent Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy. I recently saw the cover of Entertainment Weekly where Batman (Christian Bale) and Catwoman (who cares, its Catwoman) are featured front and center on the cover in their cosutmes from The Dark Knight Rises. I mean after all, it’s their Summer Movie Preview Issue! But what I cant get over is the over-complication of the Batsuit! I understand that this take on Batman is supposed to be grounded in reality as much as possible. And that the Batsuit is an adaptation of military clothing and armor. And that its supposed to provide functionality while still maintaining protection… but come on!!! Why do they feel the constant need to evolve the Batsuit into something way more than it needs to be!? We all remember seeing George Clooney and thinking… “Ummm, why the fuck does the Batsuit have nipples?” I understand the concept behind its look and development, but I personally feel they went a bit over the top here. I think it gets to a point where they begin to over-complicate things and it starts to distract from the character.

I am sure it wont be that bad or really noticeable at all when we see it on the big screen. I mean after all how often will you see Batman just standing still in broad day light? Usually it’s quick cut action scenes in the cover of darkness so there probably wont be time to analyze all the Kevlar patch locations. But I’ll still know they’re there. Like bedbugs in a cheap hotel – You cant see ’em but you know they’re there… just waiting to ruin your hotel experience… the bedbugs, not Batman.

Just add water!

The Dark Knight Rises is set to open in the U.S. July 20th, 2012. And you bet we will be front and center Kevlar patches and all.

Anchorman 2 Potential Plot WHAMMY – A Burgundy Baby!?

Anchorman is something I hold dear to my heart. Ask any of my college roommates (yes, I went to college) and they will tell you about the weekends where that movie was played over and over on loop. Come Friday evening (OK, Thursday morning) the Anchorman DVD would go in, and wouldn’t stop until Monday morning. Usually, we took out the Saturday Night Live Best of Will Ferrell DVD to put in Anchorman, so needless to say we are all well versed in the art and comedy of Will Ferrell. And I have said it before that I think Anchorman is one of the better comedies put out in a long time.

So I read an article just now on, where co-writer/director Adam McKay talks about how Anchorman 2 was bounced around in the studios for a while, how the comedy and satire of Anchorman is more relevant now than ever, and how he stays creative. But the best little nugget of the article is where he talks about the potential plot ideas they are toying with for Anchorman 2. McKay goes on to say, “I don’t want to give away too much, but I’ll just give a couple pieces of ideas that we’ve kicked around. Keep in mind we’re still writing the story, but I’ll say one phrase for you: custody battle. I’ll give you that. I’ll give you one other one: bowling for dollars.”

This is music to my ears. Recently on the 04/01/12 show I told Paul that I hope they keep the story of Anchorman 2 simple because its the characters that make the movie funny not some crazy ass plot. And this sounds like it’s right up their alley for the Channel 4 News Team! I can see it now, Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone, battling for little Ron or little Veronica. Throwing back and forth the same quips that brought us to tears last time such as “You are a smelly pirate hooker,” “Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?” and “You’ve got a dirty whorish mouth.” Classic. That is love my friends, that is love.

I am not sure what the “bowling for dollars” reference is that McKayis talking about, but if it involves some sort of competition for the custody of Burgundy Jr., sign me up! This happens to be too perfect of timing for me also, just having watched the most recent episode of East Bound and Down. The episode finds Kenny Powers facing off once again against Ashley Schaeffer, this time for his son! What ties this all together you might ask? Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact that Ashley Schaeffer is played by Will Ferrell! And the fact that Will Ferrell is an executive producer! Oh, and the fact that Adam McKay is also an Executive producer and Directed a couple episodes in 2009! BOOM! I just hit your ass with some knowledge son! This particular episode was absolutely freaking hilarious. So to imagine throwing a kid in the works with the characters of Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team, with McKay co-writing and directing just makes me really excited for this sequel. I have faith that they can pull it off. Plus, you know what they say about sequels… 60% of the time, they work every time.

You stay classy, Planet Earth.

A clip from Episode 04/01/12 – “Liam Neeson Impressions”

The review of Wrath of the Titans started off just as crazy as it ends… I think the Wrath got the best of us as we sit and wonder just why, for the love of Zeus, was nobody in that movie taking the end of the world seriously!? Come on people! From there we just go straight into a battle of who can do the best Liam Neeson/Sean Connery impression which leaves us pretty much in tears. By the way, the guy Jake says that Paul sounds like but couldn’t remember, yeah he was thinking of Giovanni Ribisis character from the remake of Flight of the Phoenix. You can listen to the full podcast of Episode 04/01/12 here where we review Wrath of the Titans in full, challenge you to a Liam Neeson best impression contest, and as always movie news – Enjoy!

Arnold Schwarzenegger: World’s Greatest Comedian

Paul, I signed your diploma

If there is one person on this Earth that deserves their own Truman-esque reality show, its Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The man can’t finish a sentence without making me laugh, whether its calling my state “Caleeforniah” or telling me to “Get My Ass To Mars!”

Just read this quote from, where Arnold confirms and comments on the planned Twins sequel, Triplets:

“I would love to do another ‘Twins,'” Schwarzenegger said when asked if there were any past characters he’d like to revist. “As a matter of fact, we’ve been talking about doing one and it’s called ‘Triplets.’ I’d find somebody like Eddie Murphy or someone that people would say, ‘How does that happen, medically speaking?’ and, ‘Physically, there’s no way!’ Then, somehow, we would explain it. That would be hilarious with what we know about someone like him.”

“I can see a poster,” the actor continued. “A billboard with us three. ‘They found another one!’ ‘Triplets!’ ‘Only their mother can tell them apart!’ I would do that in two seconds, because that’s real entertainment. You come out with that movie for Christmas, like December 5th or something like that, and you’re home free.”

Gold.  I could listen to him read the instructions on the back of a Monopoly box, and I guarantee it would be better than any episode of Two and a Half Men.  Better yet, give him a cooking show!  OH!  Baseball play-by-play announcer!  “Striiiike threeeeeeAhhh!”  Just get this guy on TV somehow where he has to talk NON STOP, and as no other character but himself.  Shit, make this a 24 hour Arnold only channel.

Arnold has just got this certain charm about him…a certain “say what I see” humor that can’t really be pulled off by any human being.  Its as if you’ve been cornered by your little cousin and now you must listen to him describe each of his GI Joe action figures down to the most minute, insignificant detail…oh, but your little cousin was also the Terminator.

As has been mentioned from time to time on the show, if you’ve never had the joy of listening to a DVD commentary by Quaid himself, 1) Get an Arnold DVD, 2) Find some friends, and 3) Stop laughing so much, you’re laughing far too loudly, and it is annoying the elderly neighbors.  Just listen to the following “Greatest Hits!” from his Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines ramblings.  Some of my favorite lines include:

The Marble wall was two inch thick Marble…that I punched through with ease

If this world deals with big breasts, then so be it, I’m just gonna have bigger breasts

Oh my god, did you see Schwarzenegger naked?  They showed his butt!  I even saw something in front!

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