Tag Archives: Twins Sequel

Arnold Schwarzenegger: World’s Greatest Comedian

Paul, I signed your diploma

If there is one person on this Earth that deserves their own Truman-esque reality show, its Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The man can’t finish a sentence without making me laugh, whether its calling my state “Caleeforniah” or telling me to “Get My Ass To Mars!”

Just read this quote from Comingsoon.net, where Arnold confirms and comments on the planned Twins sequel, Triplets:

“I would love to do another ‘Twins,'” Schwarzenegger said when asked if there were any past characters he’d like to revist. “As a matter of fact, we’ve been talking about doing one and it’s called ‘Triplets.’ I’d find somebody like Eddie Murphy or someone that people would say, ‘How does that happen, medically speaking?’ and, ‘Physically, there’s no way!’ Then, somehow, we would explain it. That would be hilarious with what we know about someone like him.”

“I can see a poster,” the actor continued. “A billboard with us three. ‘They found another one!’ ‘Triplets!’ ‘Only their mother can tell them apart!’ I would do that in two seconds, because that’s real entertainment. You come out with that movie for Christmas, like December 5th or something like that, and you’re home free.”

Gold.  I could listen to him read the instructions on the back of a Monopoly box, and I guarantee it would be better than any episode of Two and a Half Men.  Better yet, give him a cooking show!  OH!  Baseball play-by-play announcer!  “Striiiike threeeeeeAhhh!”  Just get this guy on TV somehow where he has to talk NON STOP, and as no other character but himself.  Shit, make this a 24 hour Arnold only channel.

Arnold has just got this certain charm about him…a certain “say what I see” humor that can’t really be pulled off by any human being.  Its as if you’ve been cornered by your little cousin and now you must listen to him describe each of his GI Joe action figures down to the most minute, insignificant detail…oh, but your little cousin was also the Terminator.

As has been mentioned from time to time on the show, if you’ve never had the joy of listening to a DVD commentary by Quaid himself, 1) Get an Arnold DVD, 2) Find some friends, and 3) Stop laughing so much, you’re laughing far too loudly, and it is annoying the elderly neighbors.  Just listen to the following “Greatest Hits!” from his Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines ramblings.  Some of my favorite lines include:

The Marble wall was two inch thick Marble…that I punched through with ease

If this world deals with big breasts, then so be it, I’m just gonna have bigger breasts

Oh my god, did you see Schwarzenegger naked?  They showed his butt!  I even saw something in front!

This just in “Twins” sequel officially a GO, movie immediately ruined!

That’s right folks, the 1988 film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito is getting a sequel! And the folks over at Universal and Montecito Picture Co. have been working endlessly racking their brains to come up with a clever title for the film… and after tireless days and sleepless nights, tossing and turning, a 2 pack-a-day habit, and a couple games of Russian Roulette they finally settled on a title. A title I think might be the most clever title in the history of sequels. The sequel to Twins will be called… Triplets… (This is where you play the womp womp womp sound. Go ahead do it… I’ll wait).

But the name of the movie is the least of my concerns…

If you remember, Twins centers around Arnold’s character Julius who goes in search of his brother Vincent played by the always funny Danny DeVito. They are twins (get it?) as a result of an experiment; Julius is the perfect physical specimen and Vincent is a short small time crook. Arnold lifts up a car, sings funny songs, drives a car on two wheels, etc., etc., lots of hilarity ensues. I actually really like this movie, and I was totally excited when I saw an interview with Danny DeVito on Collider promoting Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax, and DeVito said he would be open to the idea of a Twins sequel! I thought hell yeah, be more sleazy Danny DeVito! Lift up more cars and be a charming womanizer old ass Arnold!

I was all sorts of excited. Then I read this news today from THR, where they provided an update on the details of the sequel. The movie will be called Triplets, because Arnold and DeVito discover they have a third sibling! ZING! WOWZA! How original… but OK I can live with that, I’m sure the movie will still be funny. But who will play this third sibling you ask? Well it has to be someone who can keep up with the physical presence and dry humor of Arnold and the quirkiness of Devito… someone who is on top of their game right now, someone really hot in Hollywood… I know… how about Eddie Murphy!!! (Go ahead and bring back the womp womp womp sound).

Larry, Curly, and Mr. Movie Killer

I don’t even know what to say about this… seriously I don’t. Eddie Murphy, the actor who was supposed to make a serious acting come back, who had about 15 minutes of screen time in Tower Heist, whose current movie A Thousand Words has a big fat ZERO rating on Rotten Tomatoes, who backed out of doing the Oscars… he will be the third sibling!? I couldn’t think of a better way to ruin this movie and for it to lose my interest immediately. Let me guess – Arnold is now a successful businessman, DeVito has turned away from the life of crime, and Eddie Murphy makes jokes because he’s black and they are white. The three of them have to go on an adventure to find their parents/scientists, get out of a jam, enter generic plot here, and it is funny because they are all different… GET IT!!!??? Oh boy, this should be one for the books. We will be sure to keep you posted with more plot details as they come up, but try not to be too upset with this news, that is my job. You concentrate on other things, and if you see someone begging for a dollar on the corner, tell Eddie you cant wait to see him in Triplets.

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