It is finally here, what all red blooded males (and Paul) have been waiting for… the full length trailer for Expendables 2! Or as I like to call it Explosion: THE MOVIE! Finally, after bickering about ratings with Chuck Norris and between old ass action dudes drinking their Chocolate Raspberry Ensure and doing their water-aerobics and the local YMCA, they have managed to produced a full length trailer for Expendables 2! Hell Yeah! (queue explosion)…
I really kind of rip on the first Expendables because I think it fell so damn short of what everyone was expecting. Lots of quick cuts on the action scenes (but I guess what do you expect when all your stars are pushing 60… and walkers), the whole movie was really dark it was hard to see what the hell was going on, and it just didn’t deliver on making a movie as bad ass as the combined bad-assedness of all its stars. So needless to say, when we first heard about Explosion: THE MOVIE, I was skeptical. Then the big debate over the ratings started and it was reported that Expendables 2 would be PG-13, or else Chuck Norris would throw a temper tantrum, and most likely some uppercuts. I told Paul, the only way Expendables 2 could be any worse than the first Expendables was if they really do make this PG-13! But they have since went back and forth on the rating and word on the internet streets is that they have landed on an R rating however I don’t believe anything is official yet.
So with all that going on, I was far from being excited for the Expendables sequel. Sure, we will go see it (we do it for you! You see what you make us do!?) but I was already thinking it was going to be more of the same. Then I watch the trailer, and what can I say… I’m in! hahah! I don’t know what it is I must just be a sucker for giant explosions, crushing cars with tanks, mercenaries riding zip lines, motorcycles jumping off ramps into flying helicopters, wearing awesome sunglasses, dressing like a monk, and smart cars… (hey, they are good for the environment). But something about it was awesome enough to where I think it will be a good time all over again… even if it is a bad time all over again (which it most likely will be).
New images are out for the ultra awesome, ultra hardcore, ultra old ass 80’s action stars movie The Expendables 2. The images answer the question everyone was asking after they first Expendables, and once they heard about a sequel… just how much damage are The Terminator and John McClane really going to do in this movie!? We got nothing more than a couple minutes with each of them in The Expendables. I think was a disappointment to everyone for how much the whole action packed cast was hyped up in the advertisements.
But alas, be worried not young fan of old ass action stars! We can definitely see from these images that they are out to kick some ass and blow some shit up! I mean, blow some stuff up… sorry Chuck please don’t karate chop me. I know you and Sly had a big argument regarding the swearing in Expendables 2, and I wouldn’t want to offend you. My humble apologies dear master of the roundhouse.
As you can see from the image below, Bruce Willis is making the “Jersey Shore puckered up lips for a cell phone self portrait” face while he unleashes hell on the bad guys. Sly Stallone is giving the classic “say hello to my little friend!” upside down smiley face while he destroys everything in his path. And Arnold is constipated… but none the less shotgun blasting the shit out of someone. Probably someone who was in front of him in the bathroom line.
EEYYE NEEEEEDAAA TO POOOOOOPPPP!!!!!
While that terrible trio is busy shooting up an unsuspecting office complex (an unsuspecting office complex that is no doubt highly involved in terrorist activity), we get a glimpse at what Mr. Delta Force himself has been up to. In this case, destroying the absolute shit out of a couple of parked cars. Jesus Christ Chuck, a note on their windshield would have been sufficient! Unloading all three of those clips might have been a wee bit much ya think? I can see it now, the owner of the car runs outside upon hearing loud explosions only to see his car blown to shit by none other than Chuck Norris himself. He yells out, “What the FUCK Chuck!? I leave my car for two fucking minutes to go take a shit, and first Arnold cuts in front of me in line, then him, Willis, and Sly start shooting up the whole damn place, and now you’ve ‘sploded my car into a thousand pieces!!! And to top it all off, is that a flat tire I see!?” To which Chuck Norris slowly takes off his awesome, purple tinted Ray Bans and quietly answers “Yes, and you’re welcome.”
Don't ever let you car look at me like that again.
The Expendables 2 is scheduled to open August 17th, 2012 in the United States of Mo-Fo’in America.
While running through the Movie News segment, we start talking about how Expendables 2 is back to being rated R, after reports came out which stated that Chuck “The Round House” Norris himself basically told Sly Stallone to cut the movie down to PG-13 because he doesn’t like swearing. This leads in to a lovely tale about a Chuck Norris spotting in a local Target, and somehow that leads into yet another discussion on how in the hell do you really pronounce Liam Neeson? You can check out the full podcast of Episode 04/01/12 here where we review Wrath of the Titans in full, challenge you to a Liam Neeson best impression contest, and as always Movie News – Enjoy!