February 14, 2012

Episode 02/11/12

By Paul

Today on the show we have BIG news!  Cinema Recon will be taking our show on the road and attending South by Southwest this coming March!  We are also proud to unveil our new logo this week!  And don’t forget about our upcoming LIVE broadcast during the 2012 Academy Awards February 26th!  (02:50)

Cinema Recon explains why there may be more danger than you think in Safe House!  (12:20)

Also, not even a silent film can shut us up on this show!  It’s the Cinema Recon review of The Artist!  (44:50)

In the news…  (1:23:40)

  • The Amazing Spider-Man has a new trailer, and Jake refuses to buy into the hype!
  • Nazis.  On the moon.  Deal with it.
  • Osama Bin Laden.  As a zombie.  Deal with that, too.
  • The 300 sequel has cast its new Persian King, Xerxes…with a bearded white guy?
  • Joseph Gordon-Levitt : Hollywood :: Cinema Recon : Podcasting  (Answer:  He’s a hard worker)
  • Rapid Fire Casting News!!

Listen Below:

Download Here (by right clicking, then “save as”):  CR: Episode 02/11/12

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , | posted in The Show

February 14, 2012

Top 5 Movies For Valentine’s Day!

By Paul

Ah, Valentine’s Day. For many, it is a day to celebrate and cherish the love between two people. For many others, its make-it-or-break-it time!! Gentlemen, I’m looking squarely at you. Not to fear, Paul of Cinema Recon is here to help! Now, once you’re done collecting yourself in the presence of my celebrity, I would like to assist you in making this Valentine’s Day a guaranteed success. I present to you my Top 5 Movies For Valentine’s Day:

#5)  The Mist

Now fellas, stop me when I hit too close to home: You’re on the couch with your best girl, flipping through channels, and your favorite action movie just happens to be on right that very minute! “Let’s watch this!” you say, “It will only be on 17 more times this month on HBO!” Your better half proceeds to cross her arms and roll her eyes, “Another shoot ‘em up??! More explosions?? Why can’t you be more cultured! Jessica’s boyfriend, Todd, took HER to go see A Frenchman Walks Amongst Doves.” Ouch. …stupid Todd.

Well this Valentine’s Day, get ready to impress your loved one by surprising her with Frank Darabont’s touching rendition of Stephen King’s The Mist! First of all, the entire film is in black and white (theatrical version), so she’ll immediately know you have an eye for the classics! That’s right, she’ll be shocked all to hell that you were mature enough to find a film of such exquisite tastes. Move over, The Artist! The Mist is a joyous romp as Father and Son have some bonding time at the local supermarket while learning the virtues of togetherness, religion, and proper pest control. The film culminates with a powerful final scene in which our heroes realize the importance of patience!

#4)  Seven

How about a little eye candy for the ladies? Yeah that’s right, I’m talking about that dreamboat Brad Pitt! If this Valentine’s Day your girl just wants to curl up with a blanket, a glass of wine, and pretend that her mother was right and she could have done better, treat her to Pitt’s charm in the 1995 romantic comedy Seven!

Gwyneth Paltrow (Shakespeare In Love) stars alongside the aforementioned Achilles himself, as the two lovebirds try to adjust to their new big city life! Pitt’s performance is sinfully good as he tries to balance an aspiring detective career with his loving wife at home. Will Brad catch the bad guys before the roast gets cold!? What happens when he starts bringing his work home with him!? Uh oh! Unexpected house guests and no clean china dishes?!? This film will leave you so full of hilarity, you’ll need a take-out box when its over!

#3) Pan’s Labyrinth

I’m willing to bet you and your Cherry Pie have seen every Disney movie a dozen times, right? So instead of going out for Beauty and the Beast in 3D, get your family fantasy fix at home this Valentine’s Day with Guillermo Del Torro’s Pan’s Labyrinth!

No, this is not a sequel to the 1986 film Labyrinth, starring everyone’s favorite singing Goblin King, David Bowie, but its got twice the fantasy and thrice the memorable characters! Also known as El Laberinto Del Fauno in Spain (See! You’re cultured!), this whimsical tale follows the playful antics of a young girl on a quest to become a princess! Follow the adventures of young Ofelia as she sprints after fairies, dances with fauns, and even dines with a cartoonish old man that has eyeballs on his hands (how hysterical!!). Will little Ofelia become the princess she is destined to be?? I don’t want to spoil anything but…yes. Yes she does, and its a very beautiful and happy ending, completely devoid of the metaphorical.

#2) Requiem for a Dream

The candles are lit. The music is playing. She’s wearing that beautiful diamond necklace you surprised her with. How can this Valentine’s Day get any more romantic, you ask? Well…how about a little cinema….in the bedroom! Take her by the hand and follow those rose petals right up the DVD player, then gently slide under the sheets for Darren Aronofsky‘s lustful, adults-only film…Requiem for a Dream. Bow-chicka-wah-wow!

Satisfy both of your hungers while watching an erotic tale of four sexy characters…and their insatiable desire for [chocolate]! First, you’ll meet Sara, played by the sensual Ellen Burstyn, who loves working solo, trying on slinky red dresses and devouring the [chocolate] she so desperately craves! Next, you’ll see the [chocolate]-addicted Harry and Marion take turns giving eachother [chocolate] until there is absolutely none left! But never fear, sexy Tyrone is here! What follows is a [chocolate] threeway, with these young teens taking [chocolate] to heights you never thought possible! I’ll save the rest for you lovers out there…just be sure to have a heart shaped box of [chocolate] and some towels handy for this one!

#1) The Descent

That’s right boys. A chick flick. I know, I know, I can hear you rolling your eyes from here. But hear me out on this. Valentine’s Day is truly about one thing: making your favorite gal happy. This day is about her! You, as well as I, can suck it up for one day out of the entire year and sit through a movie that SHE wants to watch. And there is no better feel good movie that that says “I’m a loving, caring boyfriend” like the feminist-centric 2005 film The Descent.

Ripe with female empowerment, The Descent is one part Sex and the City, one part Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and a dash of any movie ever to star Meryl Streep. We take a long, introspective look into the struggles of friendship and love as six women attempt to reconnect with one another on the perfect vacation getaway (Hey Bro, sit down, I’m not done talking yet!). Sarah represents the loss of what once was. Juno represents the excitement of what could be. And then the rest of the girls represent some other powerful emotions that are unquestionably powerfully powerful. Can they stay together as the weight of the world comes crashing down around them? How will they react when faced with the dark caverns of their own insecurities. Watch as these six women battle their respective demons. Together.

I know what you’re thinking fellas: “How can I possibly sit through ANY OF THAT?!” I never said it would be easy. But, dammit, love isn’t supposed to be easy! So grab a few Red Bulls, sit up straight, and show her your sensitive side this Valentine’s Day. Maybe you’ll even be her “Todd” the next time she brags to her friends.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Banter, Paul

February 13, 2012

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter First Trailer!

By Paul

Following up my previous impressions of the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter images, TIME has an exclusive look at the first trailer for the film! Check your logic at the door and watch it here.

Four score and seven years ago, Twentieth Century Fox and Tim Burton brought forth baton-like twirling axes, horseback roundhouse kicks, tree-exploding deathblows, and Johnny Cash!  Who wants to bet that the big bad nemesis for Honest Abe will be none other than Count John Wilkes Booth?!

…I for one am disappointed in the COMPLETE lack of Moon-Nazis in this trailer.  Absurd.

 

Jake had his own thoughts on the trailer:

“I was a bit skeptical about this project, and admittedly there are still lots of ways (and I mean LOTS) for this movie to go south really quickly. But I think deep down this is a movie I am really looking forward to. I don’t really have much taste for Tim Burton as of recently, I think he just kind of works inside his own little weird niche and never breaks out. And I wasn’t that big of a fan of Timur Bekmambetovs Wanted. But after seeing the trailer, I think they might just make an awesome team.

“I think you’re seeing a lot of the same really great and unique visuals that Timur Bekmambetovs brought us in Wanted, and with the added horror/dark element that Tim Burton is so great at. What I think is really cool though is that from what it looks like the film is taking itself really serious. And although like I said there are still lots of ways for this to turn into a laughing stock, from what we see in the trailer, it could also be pretty bad ass. The best scene is definitely at the end though, I mean how cool is that!? Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter according to IMDB will be released on June 22nd, 2012. And you know Paul and I will be there, top hats and all (and axes).”

 

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in Banter, Jake, News, Paul

February 12, 2012

New Avengers bubble gum reveals EVERY SINGLE DETAIL ABOUT THE PLOT!

By Jake

Well, if there is one thing Hollywood is good at, it is squeezing every single last dime out of something until the well has completely run dry. Then even after that, they take the bricks from the well and sell them too. Then, they sell the rights to look at the spot where the well use to be. After that, they start working on the second well, The Well: Return of the hole in the ground (starring Morgan Freeman most likely, or Bill Paxton… Bill Paxton would be good too I guess).

Within the last week or two the barrage of leaks has started with pictures and details from all the toy companies, costume companies, etc., on all the superhero toy lines that are on their way off the production lines to help market the movie and to help make them another buck. And while I’m not necessarily irked about  that, everyone loves toys, but Jesus there are a lot of toys out… You can see the Avengers Legos here, or the Avengers board game here, or the Dark Knight Rises action figures here, or the Star Wars action figures here,  or the G.I. Joe Retaliation action figures here, or the Avengers action figures here, or the Amazing Spider-mans Lizard Halloween costume here, or the… holy shit you get the point.

But what really pisses me off, is all these articles say “See the action figures here! Caution toy images contain plot sploilers!!!” …. really? … REALLY? How much can an action figure contain plot spoilers!?!? What is this the 1998 movie Small Soldiers? Are the action figures running around telling everyone how the movie ends? What could we possibly be learning about a 2 hour long movie from seeing a couple Lego building blocks! But upon looking at the images even more I guess they are right, I mean, I’m pretty pissed knowing that Captain America is going to have a hole in his head the whole movie….

Vroom vroom.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in Banter, Jake

February 12, 2012

Laughs Aren’t Silent in SNL Spoof of The Artist!

By Paul

Saturday Night Live had a really cool spoof on The Artist last night.  Host Zooey Deschanel “tap dances to the top” with the surpirse guest appearance of George Valentin himself, Jean Dujardin!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Check out SNL’s official site for more videos from last night’s episode, including Clint Eastwood’s Chrysler ads and Nic Cage hilariously poking fun at himself on Weekend Update!

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in Banter, Paul

February 11, 2012

The Lizard Halloween Costume: It’s Scary, Alright

By Paul

Over at ComingSoon.net, I just saw that leaked images of The Lizard, from the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man, have made their way onto the interwebbings. …or I should say, leaked images of a guy wearing a Lizard Halloween costume. If you thought the Pez version of The Lizard was bad, you may want to look away:

20120211-123738.jpg

20120211-123948.jpg

Holy shit. He looks like he’s concentrating really hard on something. Either that or he’s constipated. Isn’t The Lizard supposed to frightening?! This is about as scary as a character from Wind in the Willows.

We see stuff like this all the time: early peeks at otherwise secretive portions of films coming from toys, costumes, lunch pails, etc. With the amount of marketing that goes into one of these blockbusters, it’s gotta be harder than ever for a studio to keep their arms wrapped around the entire thing.

Even without an official response from Columbia Pictures, I would say these are probably a pretty accurate look at what we will get in the final film. I am going to withhold any further criticisms until I see the final movie but….oh man. A lot of people have already made the observation that he looks like one of the Goombas from the atrocious 1993 film Super Mario Bros.

They are (unfortunately and hilariously) spot on.

20120211-124130.jpg

Check out ComingSoon.net for the full story and additional images.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in News, Paul

February 10, 2012

Paging Doctor Terminator, Rambo needs a new catheter…

By Jake

Boy oh boy. Its a good time to be in the movie business (yes I know I am not actually in the movie business per se, but let me have my moment god damnit!). Lots of good stuff floating around the Inter-webs ladies and gentlemen. I saw an article on Collider which is still causing my face to do that one thing where the corners of your mouth go up… smiling. That’s right, a big ‘ol smile.

It turns out that Rambo 5 is on hold until Sly Stallone finishes Expendables 2. The article which you can find here quotes screenwriter Sean Hood who says, “Rambo 5 on hold as Sly finishes Expendables 2. He hasn’t decided if R5 will be an Unforgiven or a “passing of the torch.” I would be on board for either of those options! Rambo + Unforgiven = Massive amounts of enemies heads going ‘splode! Or on the other hand… Rambo + “passing of the torch” = Rambo and someone else making massive amounts of enemies heads going ‘splode!

But the thing that really got me smiling was the picture they had along with the article. Apparently after filming Expendables 2, both Arnold and Sly were so beat up from the physical demands of the shoot, they both had to go into surgery to get a little tune up hahahaha. I guess Arnold snapped a picture and shared it with the world. Thanks Arnold… because that’s one thing we all we’re dying to see, the action stars of our time, laying on the gurney!

But, I don’t really think it matters what the movie is about really, John Rambo is a God damn American Icon. If we don’t have him, what do we have? We might as well use the Statue of Liberty as scrap metal! We need another Rambo movie to show this new generation of limp wristed, pale, skinny jean wearing, moca-latte sipping youth how we use to get things done in ‘Merica! Shoot first and ask questions never! I am a big Rambo fan, and I am whole heartedly looking forward to this next movie with whatever direction they decide to take it in… as long as its not Rambo: The Found Footage.

Haay, SLIIEE, loook at usss .... aaarrrrggggggg

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , | posted in Banter, Jake

February 10, 2012

“You Best Believe, Boy, There’s Hell to Pay”

By Paul

Today, in Totally-Awesome-Things-That-Are-Almost-Movie-Related, the History Channel has released a teaser trailer for the forthcoming Hatfields & McCoys. Do yourself a favor and watch it here!

While this will not be arriving in a theater near you, after seeing this trailer, I certainly wish it was! If this doesn’t make you excited to see Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton wage some neighborly war, I don’t know what will. Maybe it’s the awesome choice of music for the teaser. Maybe it’s because I am a big Costner fan. Or maybe I just get all giddy-like every time we revisit the Western genre in film. Take your pick, ’cause this perfect storm of guns and grit has me fired up for a television mini-series…and when can you every say THAT without being an unapologetic fan of the Hallmark Channel??

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Banter, News, Paul

February 10, 2012

For Your Consideration: A Separation

By billy

Note to the Reader: I do not feel sufficiently informed about Iran and its population to accurately depict everything this movie is trying to say, but here goes nothing.

A man and a woman, married and living in Iran, state their cases to an offscreen mediator. The woman wants a divorce. She has worked diligently to obtain visas for her and her husband so they can take their 11-year-old daughter out of the country. The husband’s father has Alzheimer’s and can’t leave he can’t leave him in such a condition. The woman wants a better life for a her daughter, but she can’t take her daughter with her without her husband’s permission. The mediator rules that the woman doesn’t have good reason to divorce her husband and tells them to work it out. There is no Due Process and no appeals. This is the mediator’s ruling and she must live with it.

A Separation is a film about a family living in a culture and a country that is in transition. They live in a culture of absolutes that is crashing into a world where there is anything but. Technology is casting an ever-widening net and information has become more readily available. With the proliferation of information comes education and with education comes a sense of freedom, unknown to many only a few years before. In Iran, a largely muslim nation, the outside world’s sphere of influence is seeping into the culture. The country is desperately trying to hold onto some semblance of the Old World, but the ball is already speeding downhill. Hard questions about the very nature of their society are being asked. The roles of men and women, once indoctrinated and impenetrable, are changing more and more each day. Even their religion, which was once the guiding force of their lives and their moral compass has become pliable as they try to reconcile what they were forced to believe and what they have come to learn for themselves.

To say that A Separation is purely about a tectonic shift in culture would be a an injustice to film. In truth it’s about so much more. About half way through the film the shifts gears into something very different from what you set out watching. It would be a crime to give anything away, but it’s riveting to be sure. Not only does the second half of the film reinforce the thesis of the film, but calls into question the idea of what truth is and shows the path of destruction left in wake of mankind’s propensity for extreme hubris.*

A Separation is the odds on favorite to take home the Best Foreign Film Academy Award and it’s easy to see why. It is an important, intense piece of film making. Unfolding like a morality play in an alternate universe. It takes place in a world we know, in a time that feels familiar. But, as the film progresses the subtle differences shine through and we realize just how great the divide is between the world I know as an American and the world as depicted in the film.**

*I apologize for the flowery language, but this post was a bitch to write.

**It needed to be written though. It’s a good goddamn movie.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , | posted in Billy