Just kidding, he will just try to act like one. Well, it turns out that John Cusack is replacing Ethan Hawke as the lead in The Numbers Station directed by Kasper Barfoed. Cusack is supposed to play a “disgraced black-ops agent…” I say “supposed to,” because if anyone can imagine Jon Cusack playing a black-ops agent and not burst into laughter I will give you $5, straight out of Paul’s wallet. Jon Cusack playing a black-ops agent? That’s like Morgan Freeman actually playing a character other than himself, it’s just not going to happen. Now I am a huge fan of covert ops type movies, but Jon Cusack doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who will repel down a cliff while shooting an assault rifle at incoming enemy helicopters. My guess is he gives away their position in ten minutes boombox style a-la Say Anything.

But I don’t know what I find more funny, the fact that Jon Cusack is going to try and play a black-ops agent, or that he is set to star in Frozen Ground opposite Count Chocula… I mean Nicolas Cage. That movie will undoubtedly be the acting equivalent of two monkeys playing chess with checkers pieces. You can check out the article from Variety here.

Hey look, I'm a secret agent...