I feel really confused about all of this. I really do. I am not even trying to be funny at this point. I am just horribly confused, so confused and baffled that it literally makes my head hurt. Now I know how Paul must feel… going through life confused by all the colors and shapes, all the “WYE-FYE” this and “CELL-PHONE” that. Poor guy.
But lets take a look at the exactly what I am so confused. The following promotional video shows us the brand new “X-Man” Quicksilver, eating breakfast. YUP. That’s right. I said eating breakfast, specifically A Carl’s Jr. breakfast sandwich. (WARNING – the images you are about to see are considered extremely stupid, and should not be watched by those easily angered)
So there you have it. That is him eating breakfast. It is so damn absurd I just cannot for the life of me think of a good reason they would continue to show us this character, when he looks SO HORRIBLY RIDICULOUS. But I think I finally figured it out (Paul, not so much). I think I have narrowed it down to two options –
Option 1 – The marketing team at FOX is nothing but geniuses. The team is probably stacked full of Nobel Laureates, people doing ground breaking work in the fields of physics, chemistry, economics, and other thingies. They are so smart, that they actually understand the internet… THE ENTIRE INTERNET. They understand it to the point of the old saying “any press is good press,” which if I understand the 21st Century correctly, roughly translates into something called “Trolling” (I think?). Now Trolling is basically intentionally making controversial statements or comments, with the sole intention of evoking an emotional response. And if that video of a comic book character, dressed like a complete idiot, selling a giant corporations breakfast sandwich isn’t purposefully trying to evoke an emotional response, then I don’t know what is. They are basically trolling every person on earth, just to get people talking about their movie. And its working. Kind of.
Option 2 – The costume designers for this movie were literally a group of blind cigarette smoking chimps, who had access to a 1980’s hair metal bands wardrobe closet, and Bryan Singer is making the biggest mistake of his career. The movie will break records, it will be a box office smash, but it will be laughed at. Once again, just like in X-Men: First Class (listen to our review of that here), a great story line and a handful of great actors and characters will be trampled on and overshadowed by annoying teenager “mutants,” the other horribly shallow characters, and laughable costume design. So much so that it will tarnish the entire movie. I’m calling it now, this will be so glaring that it will effect peoples opinion on the whole movie. The most we can hope is that he is not a central character, and has very little screen time.
But what do I know? I’m just a guy who doesn’t dress up like this…
Good morning internet, just how the hell are ya? That’s nice, now listen to me. I checked the internets this morning and I found this terrific little nugget of information on the upcoming Bryan Singer directed X-Men: Days of Future Past. Now, when I first saw this picture I had to check my calendar to make sure it wasn’t the beloved 1st of April. A day for pranks, gags, jokes, and fun for everyone! Because man, this picture SURE IS FUNNY. But alas, no… ‘tis not the 1st of April. It is the 2nd of April, which means this picture is no joke… it is real my friends.
Now let me soften the blow for you a bit, and start with some standard issue, magazine promo cover art. The following picture comes to us via the French edition of Premiere magazine, and it has a nice little cover with young Magneto (Michael Fassbender), old Magneto (Ian McKellen), young Professor X (James McAvoy), old Professor X (Patrick Stewart), and of course our beloved Wolverine who appears as though he is sneaking up behind everyone and is about to rip their heads off. But this cover is pretty standard, nothing to see here really.
Watch out behind you James McAvoy!!!
The real joke here, is the picture that was released showing us yet again, the new Quicksilver! … O.M.G. followed by a W.T.F….
Now you MUST look at me!
In absolutely no way can I take this picture seriously! “Hi, my name is Quicksilver, and NOBODY KNOWS WHY THE HELL I LOOK LIKE THIS.” I really do find it hard to believe that they made Quicksilver look like this, ON PURPOSE!!! And, that they know he looks like this and they continue to release pictures of him ON PURPOSE!!! It’s like Brian Singer lost a bet or something. The most annoying thing about the Matthew Vaughn directed X-Men: First Class was the whiny, wimpy, light hearted and severely out of place teenage mutants/X-Men, and I just really hope that they do something with Quicksilver because just on his looks alone he is already annoying the shit out of me! But Quicksilver’s retarded looks aside, even the picture itself is a BAD PICTURE! How on Earth would they let this be released as a promotional image for the movie!? It’s the most bland, boring, show me nothing tell me nothing piece of movie marketing I have ever seen! You can see what this version of Quicksilver looks like compared to the Quicksilver in the new Avengers: Age of Ultronhere, but I warn you, it’s not much better.
X-Men: Days of Future Past opens May 23rd, 2014… I’ll be the guy in the audience constantly yelling, “YOU LOOK STUPID!”