Ahhhh… smell that? It’s the smell of a good old action movie kicking down your door, delivering a cheesy one liner, and making shit go ‘splode!!! That’s right kiddies, it’s the first trailer for The Last Stand featuring the much anticipated return of everyone’s favorite action star, maid-banger, and former governor… Arnold Schwarzenegger!
Arnold stars as Ray Owens, sheriff of a quiet little border town called Sommerton Junction, where he has come to retire/get away from all the violence after leaving the LAPD due to a botched operation that left his partner crippled. But hold the bingo! Arnold can’t sit back and knit a lovely sweater for his illegitimate son just yet! The most notorious and wanted drug lord in all of the western hemisphere has escaped and is barreling towards Sommerton Junction in a “specially-outfitted Corvette ZR1” at 250mph, and Arnold and team must stop him at all costs before he makes it to Mexico!
I am actually really stoked for this movie. US directorial debut director Kim Jee-Woon looks like he has what it takes for a good ol’ fashion American action movie, and seems like he knows how to handle a good OLD fashion action star too. The trailer does a good job of blending some pretty sharp looking action pieces with some light hearted jokes that were always a staple of Arnolds movies, as well as backhanded humor in reference to Arnold as an iconic action star who is a bit past his prime. I talked about this briefly on the most recent podcast, how this generation really doesn’t have an action star, it’s a sad state of affairs really… So frankly speaking, I am excited for Arnold to come back and show all these wanna-be up-and-comer pretty boys how it’s done!
What I don’t get though, is why does the bad guy have to be the most notorious in the “western hemisphere?” I mean really? Why not just make him the most bad ass dude in the world? Why stop and say, “You know what this dude is pretty bad ass, but let’s make his bad assed-ness stop at the Prime Meridian. Beyond that, there are even MORE bad ass-ed dudes!!!” (Yeah so what, I had to Google Prime Meridian to remember what it was. What are you going to do about it!? You’re probably going to Google that one too right… about… now) Also, when did Johnny Knoxville become the go-to guy for a whacky half-red-neck half-idiot type sidekick for a sheriff/cop? Maybe it was just that one movie with The Rock and I always happen to catch it on FX or something, I don’t know I digress. Also, in all the write ups they keep mentioning this “specially-outfitted Corvette ZR1.” I really hope this is significant in some way (it won’t be), and isn’t just some giant plug for Chevy (it will be) because I won’t stand for it! (I probably will)
In case you were wondering, my favorite part of the trailer is the non sequitur towards the end when Johnny Knoxville asks Arnold, “Man you look jacked, have you been workin’ out?” Then the scene cuts to Arnold blasting away at something with a shotgun. Umm, sure guy… sure, that’s a valid response to that question, why not.