I’ll be back… to make movies that have already been done.

So the Internets were buzzing with thoughts of what The Terminator is going to be doing now that he is no longer the Governator of our fine state of California. Apparently driving the state into near bankruptcy, and knocking up the hired help got boring for the ol’ Austrian Oak. Word got around that he had taken his next project (not another maid) and was ready to get back into acting. We were all on the edge of our seats, waiting with baited breath (you like that one Paul, totally used your line) to see what the amazing action star was going to blow us away with this time. His next movie will be… The Last Stand.

Arnold will play the Sheriff of a quiet little town when all the sudden he is thrust back into action, and tasked with stopping a notorious drug kingpin who is on the run (in some sort of super-duper car apparently) and driving straight for Arnolds town. He is forced to assemble his deputies and get ready for the showdown, and make their… Final Destination. I’m just kidding, Last Stand.

The only problem I have with this, is haven’t we seen this movie before when it was called Walking Tall? Staring non-other than Dwayne “I’m the toothfairy” Johnson? Didn’t he have to defend his quiet little town against drug dudes who were ruining it? I’m sure that plot has been done before many times, but for some reason this time it really made me think of Walking Tall.

Now that being said, I’m sure it will be an action packed blockbuster and I personally, cant wait. Our generation is completely lacking an action star on Arnolds level. So I guess if we cant get one of our own, we might as well keep using him! I mean come on, 64 is the new 20 right… right…??? Holy shit I cant believe ol’ Dutch is 64. I think these days he is using more pull-ups than he is doing if you catch my drift (my drift being that he shits himself he is so old).

Hey look - Dopey, Sleepy, Grumpy, and a female (holding a tommy gun?) so the movie is politically correct.

The one thing that caught my good eye (pun intended for further in the article), is when I was scanning the cast line-up on IMDB, I saw non other than the Last King of Scotland himself, Forest Whitaker. I can only assume that he will play the drug kingpin hurling towards Arnolds town in his super-duper automobile. And for this I am thankful, because I cannot wait to see Forest Whitakers fat ass take on the 64 year old geriatric Terminator. Stay tuned with your ears for this one, it should be fun ladies and gentleman.


4 responses to “I’ll be back… to make movies that have already been done.

  • Paul

    What, do I have worms in my mouth?? It is “Bated Breath” hahaha. At least we are consistent and not limiting our misspoken phrases to just the show

  • Ol' Jack Burton

    It sounds like a combo of Raw Deal (under values Schwarz flick) and Copland (under valued Stallone flick). I’m in!

  • Jason Tanner

    Hey, Hey….Hey……I completely agree with your comments EXCEPT for labeling The Rock (you know he will always be The Rock and not Dwayne Johnson) as The Tooth Fairy. When Disney comes knocking, and paying heavily, you do whatever they want. : ) Yeah, honestly Last Stand I sware has been done before, and I will do some digging. The plot seems VERY familiar, and honestly, the fact that Johnny Knoxville is in it, is hilarious considering he was the sidekick in Walking Tall. Forest Whitaker should be the only serious/good actor in it (not that Arnold’s not good, but I’m pretty sure he hasn’t won any Oscar’s). Good read bud! Good times!

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