New images are out for the ultra awesome, ultra hardcore, ultra old ass 80′s action stars movie The Expendables 2. The images answer the question everyone was asking after they first Expendables, and once they heard about a sequel… just how much damage are The Terminator and John McClane really going to do in this movie!? We got nothing more than a couple minutes with each of them in The Expendables. I think was a disappointment to everyone for how much the whole action packed cast was hyped up in the advertisements.
But alas, be worried not young fan of old ass action stars! We can definitely see from these images that they are out to kick some ass and blow some shit up! I mean, blow some stuff up… sorry Chuck please don’t karate chop me. I know you and Sly had a big argument regarding the swearing in Expendables 2, and I wouldn’t want to offend you. My humble apologies dear master of the roundhouse.
As you can see from the image below, Bruce Willis is making the “Jersey Shore puckered up lips for a cell phone self portrait” face while he unleashes hell on the bad guys. Sly Stallone is giving the classic “say hello to my little friend!” upside down smiley face while he destroys everything in his path. And Arnold is constipated… but none the less shotgun blasting the shit out of someone. Probably someone who was in front of him in the bathroom line.
While that terrible trio is busy shooting up an unsuspecting office complex (an unsuspecting office complex that is no doubt highly involved in terrorist activity), we get a glimpse at what Mr. Delta Force himself has been up to. In this case, destroying the absolute shit out of a couple of parked cars. Jesus Christ Chuck, a note on their windshield would have been sufficient! Unloading all three of those clips might have been a wee bit much ya think? I can see it now, the owner of the car runs outside upon hearing loud explosions only to see his car blown to shit by none other than Chuck Norris himself. He yells out, “What the FUCK Chuck!? I leave my car for two fucking minutes to go take a shit, and first Arnold cuts in front of me in line, then him, Willis, and Sly start shooting up the whole damn place, and now you’ve ‘sploded my car into a thousand pieces!!! And to top it all off, is that a flat tire I see!?” To which Chuck Norris slowly takes off his awesome, purple tinted Ray Bans and quietly answers “Yes, and you’re welcome.”
The Expendables 2 is scheduled to open August 17th, 2012 in the United States of Mo-Fo’in America.
Images via Collider.