Daily Archives: March 30, 2012

This just in “Twins” sequel officially a GO, movie immediately ruined!

That’s right folks, the 1988 film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito is getting a sequel! And the folks over at Universal and Montecito Picture Co. have been working endlessly racking their brains to come up with a clever title for the film… and after tireless days and sleepless nights, tossing and turning, a 2 pack-a-day habit, and a couple games of Russian Roulette they finally settled on a title. A title I think might be the most clever title in the history of sequels. The sequel to Twins will be called… Triplets… (This is where you play the womp womp womp sound. Go ahead do it… I’ll wait).

But the name of the movie is the least of my concerns…

If you remember, Twins centers around Arnold’s character Julius who goes in search of his brother Vincent played by the always funny Danny DeVito. They are twins (get it?) as a result of an experiment; Julius is the perfect physical specimen and Vincent is a short small time crook. Arnold lifts up a car, sings funny songs, drives a car on two wheels, etc., etc., lots of hilarity ensues. I actually really like this movie, and I was totally excited when I saw an interview with Danny DeVito on Collider promoting Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax, and DeVito said he would be open to the idea of a Twins sequel! I thought hell yeah, be more sleazy Danny DeVito! Lift up more cars and be a charming womanizer old ass Arnold!

I was all sorts of excited. Then I read this news today from THR, where they provided an update on the details of the sequel. The movie will be called Triplets, because Arnold and DeVito discover they have a third sibling! ZING! WOWZA! How original… but OK I can live with that, I’m sure the movie will still be funny. But who will play this third sibling you ask? Well it has to be someone who can keep up with the physical presence and dry humor of Arnold and the quirkiness of Devito… someone who is on top of their game right now, someone really hot in Hollywood… I know… how about Eddie Murphy!!! (Go ahead and bring back the womp womp womp sound).

Larry, Curly, and Mr. Movie Killer

I don’t even know what to say about this… seriously I don’t. Eddie Murphy, the actor who was supposed to make a serious acting come back, who had about 15 minutes of screen time in Tower Heist, whose current movie A Thousand Words has a big fat ZERO rating on Rotten Tomatoes, who backed out of doing the Oscars… he will be the third sibling!? I couldn’t think of a better way to ruin this movie and for it to lose my interest immediately. Let me guess – Arnold is now a successful businessman, DeVito has turned away from the life of crime, and Eddie Murphy makes jokes because he’s black and they are white. The three of them have to go on an adventure to find their parents/scientists, get out of a jam, enter generic plot here, and it is funny because they are all different… GET IT!!!??? Oh boy, this should be one for the books. We will be sure to keep you posted with more plot details as they come up, but try not to be too upset with this news, that is my job. You concentrate on other things, and if you see someone begging for a dollar on the corner, tell Eddie you cant wait to see him in Triplets.


Because You Never Saw It: Young Adult

My wife and I saw Young Adult back in January. Being fans of the filmmakers involved; Jason Reitman directing, a script by Diablo Cody and a cast led by Charlize Theron, Patrick Wilson and Patton Oswalt, it was a film we both anticipated upon first learning about its impending release. We were not fooled by the advertising campaign of the film. Despite the fact that it was shrouded under the guise of being ostensibly a comedy, I had read that the film was in fact much darker than the trailer suggested and mined some fairly heavy territory. Having faith in the pedigree of the principles involved we took our seats at the Cinearts in Pleasant Hill (the last real hope for American Cinema) and gave Young Adult a shot.

The film revolves around a woman named Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron.) She is a writer of cookie cutter YA fiction and to say that she is a malcontent is an understatement. She drinks too much, has nary a good thing to say to or about anyone and uses what’s left of her good looks to get what she wants. Upon receiving an email announcing the wife of her ex-boyfriend, Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson,) had just given birth to their first child, she is prompted to go back to her home town and win Buddy back. What follows is one uncomfortable situation after another in which a deluded, almost always drunk Mavis tries to rekindle her their long forgotten romance, completely oblivious to the trail of destruction she leaves in her wake.

My wife and I left the theater feeling sucker punched. My wife, who takes everything at face value and thinks totally in terms of entertainment value, hated the film. She thought it was a depressing mess with a rash of hopeless characters occupying the screen without moral compass or any redeemable characteristics. I gave the film a lot more rope, but could not disagree with her. While her opinion was shared, my criticism went a little deeper than that. My initial reaction to the film was that I had never seen a film more self-conscious of itself. The screenplay seemed to be a desperate attempt at a complete 180 for Diablo Cody. The idealistic and witty banter that filled the scripts for Juno and her work on the TV show United States of Tara and was supplanted by incessant negativity and the dreariest of world views. Reitman, who has proven himself an apt craftsman, carving a nice place for himself outside of his father’s shadow, had apparently decided to throw out anything he felt would be conventional opting instead for the path of most resistance. The film seems to go out of its way to buck any sort of trend you see in most films, there is no growth amongst the main characters and there is nothing even remotely close to a resolution.

Had I written this review back in January, it probably would have ended there. But, a few weeks ago I happened upon a discussion of the film on the podcast, WTF with Marc Maron. Maron loved the film and his argument was compelling enough to entice me to give the film another go. The second viewing was a completely different experience. While the film is by no means a masterpiece, I did develop an appreciation for it. I discovered that one of major reasons I disliked the film initially was the very aspect of the human condition it was trying to shine a light on. One of the major themes of the film is cynicism and the effect it has on our growth as people. It’s much easier to reject something as deficient rather than to spend the amount of time necessary to understand what it is it’s trying to say. I’m certainly not immune to doing this. I’m constantly at war with myself in an attempt to slow the fuck down and simplify. Life is overwhelming and can be quite painful and the last thing we want is to have that notion fed to us via what we choose as entertainment. Young Adult is not a comfortable viewing experience. It doesn’t exist to give you answers to the questions it asks of the audience. It leaves you, squirming in your seat, with a choice: Take the easy way out and discard the film, which is what I did after my first viewing. Or sit in the shit of it, as I did the second time around and appreciate it for not taking shortcuts or tacking on a happy ending.

I’m paraphrasing Marc Maron when I sum up what I think Young Adult is about and what I grew to enjoy about it: Life isn’t always about the funny, or the entertaining for that matter. Sometimes life is about the sad. And that ain’t so bad.

SIDEBAR: Holy shit! All that word vomit without pointing out two crucial elements of the film. Charlize Theron is an actress of amazing range and skill. I have a ton of respect for her performance in Monster, but, I think that the film was far too reliant on the physical transformation and the makeup used to make Theron look like the source material. In Young Adult, Theron is allowed to look like herself and give a performance that makes her every bit as ugly as she looked in Monster. Monster may have earned her an Oscar, but in Young Adult she may have painted her masterpiece. Furthermore, Patton Oswalt is the secret weapon of this film. Not unlike his performance in the little seen Big Fan, he is an absolute revelation as someone who has endured more pain, both physically and emotionally, that any man should bear. I may be overstating a bit because this performance is wildly different than his comic performance, but it’s fantastic nonetheless.